Saturday, May 10, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Hardly worth the bother

Making wafer-thin ham look like brisket, today's Bizarre is perhaps the weakest yet since Newton disappeared from view.

Gordon's big story is a barked claim that Wayne Rooney is "snubbing" Alex Ferguson before admitting, in the actual piece, there's absolutely no reason why if you're having friends and family you should feel obliged to invite your boss. We wonder if Gordon would - should he decide to renew his vows - send an invite to Rupert Murdoch, or if he'd "snub" him.

That's the big story, too. Further downpage, he's scrabbling to try and make something out of Gwyneth Paltrow "waving like the Queen" - even though she his picture has her with her hand high in the air, when the Queen's wave is never above shoulder-level. Or perhaps Gordon means that waving at your fans is, in itself, to give yourself regal graces, which wouldn't make any sense at all, would it?


2 comments:

James said...

We wonder if Gordon would - should he decide to renew his vows - send an invite to Rupert Murdoch, or if he'd "snub" him

Arf! I suspect if Gordon ever renewed his vows, he'd try to keep it as low-key as possible to avoid breaking the hearts of every female celebrity on the planet. I can almost hear Nicola from Girls Aloud sobbing "How COULD he? I was third in his preferred order! THIRD!!!"

(And imagine if the public caught wind of the ceremony! Someone might see him in his 'gay suit'...)

Anonymous said...

i hate gordon. his casual homophobia and blatent bullying is depressing.
at least victoria newton had a sense of fun about her.

no, actually, im taking the piss. sizzle them both at fat harrys stakehouse and auction the undercrackers.

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