In today's Sun on the newsstand, Gordon leads with the decent story about Coldplay dropping their Kylie collaboration from their album because - heaven forbid - the track is "too sexy":
“It’s a song called Luna and Kylie is particularly brilliant on it.
“It will be on a record we will put out in 2009, some time at the end of next year. It will be track nine, I imagine.”
Now, this is pretty good stuff: if you must keep banging on about Coldplay's dull new album, finding a new angle is quite a surprise. Especially one which manages to unite Coldplay fans ("ooh! and another new album next year!") and people who actually like music ("snurkle! how could any track with their lumpen presence on it be 'too sexy'?").
So why is it that, by the time the column made it to the web, the lead story is instead that, erm, Jordan has read a book about Fred West?
Meanwhile, the power struggle between Gordon and his deputy, Pete Samson, seems to have developed into attempts at public humilation, judging by this piece on Abbey Clancy:
A confusion of “funbags” and “play suit” had occurred as his mind frantically tried to process the images without letting his obvious excitement get out of control.
The end result was embarrassing and fair punishment for trying to impress the girls with his fashion knowledge.
Perhaps, in the office, this was an amusing moment. Why on earth would Gordon think that it was worth publishing, though, unless to make Samson look stupid? And "his obvious excitement" - does that mean what we think it means (and the mental image we're desperate to try and shake out of our heads?)