Gordon in the morning: Locked lips

It doesn't really matter who it's about, all you need to know is a grown man wrote this in a newspaper this morning:

The pair couldn’t keep their hands off each other and locked lips in full view of fellow frolickers in the bar.

Meanwhile, Gordon laps up Victoria Beckham's trip to Manchester:

They supped £8,000 of vintage bubbly Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Blanc de Blancs at posh Japanese venue Ithaca in the city.

With dinner included, the final bill was an eye-watering £10,000.

I bet hubby DAVID was relieved to know her perfume producers Coty were footing the bill.

Let's just leave aside that if Beckham needed to raise ten grand, he'd probably need to, ooh, play thirteen seconds of football or do one twenty-millionth of a photoshoot, and just allow our jaws to drop at Smart's 1950s attitude. Mrs. Beckham is out promoting what we shall - this once - call with a straight face "her business"; Gordon assumes that the hubby will be underwriting it all. Let's just hope Victoria was back home in time to cook David's tea, eh, Gordon?