Gordon in the morning: At least he's excited

Some people reckon that MTV has lost the touch of connecting with what should be its core audience. Not Gordon, though - he's thrilled with the VMA plans:

BRITNEY SPEARS will share a stage with her old pop rival CHRISTINA AGUILERA at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards.

The pair battled for chart supremacy at the height of their fame, then fought over MADONNA’s tongue at the 2003 MTV bash.

But now Britney is to take on Christina again by fighting to steal the show in Los Angeles.

You've got to hand it to Gordon - he really is a maverick. The rest of the world might be going "isn't this a representation of pop music from ten years ago?", but Gordon is up on his feet, applauding as well as you can with one hand:

Maybe they could take inspiration from their 2003 show and kiss and make up on stage. Literally.

The News International porn filter must be locked down tightly if Gordon is resorting to that sort of fantasy.

Gordon also finds space for a piece by Rebecca Ley that is little more than a exercise in stone-throwing. Even before you get to the article, the rocks are flying:

Why is Aniston still single at 40?

Yeah - what is she, some kind of freak? Hang about, I've got some tar and feathers somewhere round here. She's plainly some kind of witch or something. If we don't run her out of town, our crops will fail.

WITH glossy hair and slim figure, JENNIFER ANISTON looks as hot as ever as she films a cameo for a US telly comedy.

In it she plays a Fatal Attraction-style stalker and, as our picture shows, her manic role involves her looking pained in what is a sad reflection of the turmoil in her own private life.

Ever the professional, though, Aniston manages to look hot while looking pained. It's like someone having an arm caught in a threshing machine while wearing a bikini.

Today, with her Friends character Rachel Green a distant memory, Jen is swallowing her professional pride to bring to life the role of a stalker in 30 Rock.

Rachel Green from... what... Friends? Was that the one with Richard Briers where they kept goats in Audrey Fforbe-Hamilton's old holiday camp? I have a vague memory of the programme... oh, yes, it's the one that's on TV every fifteen minutes, isn't it?

Rebecca, honey: it's likely that Aniston isn't "swallowing her pride" playing a stalker - it's what's known as "playing against type". 30 Rock is one of the biggest comedy shows in America, accepting a cameo in it isn't a shameful begging for work like going bottom right on Hollywood Squares. And being single at 40 isn't, really, that unusual, is it? Especially as she's only been out of her relationship with John Mayer for about two minutes.