Monday, September 22, 2008

How I Done It by Kelly Osbourne

Signs that some parts of the economy are still buoyant: some publishing house has so much cash schlepping about in its vaults that it's paying Kelly Osbourne to write her memoirs. Let's hope that Osbourne doesn't go nuts and attempts to cram all her 23 years on the planet into one book.

Apparently she's going to write about "her infamous feud with Christina Aguilera" - which, being as she's probably the only person on the planet who remembers it, is just as well.


Olive said...

Ironically, there was a piece in the NY Times magazine this weekend about why the publishing industry is Donald Ducked. I'd suggest that it was DD'd by the kind of arsewit who'd give good money to Kelly Osbourne for her autobiography. Do we have a title for it yet? If not, may I suggest '23 years of oxygen theft'.

James said...

Aye. Private Eye publish an amazing table every so often, listing the advances paid to various celebrities for their books, along with the actual sales figures they acheived. Can't help thinking Kelly might be turning up there soon. It's incredible to see how much some companies are willing to pay, just to give 'The Works' something to stock in their 'People Who Were Briefly Famous Two Years Ago' department.

What did happen to Rageh Omaar, by the way?

Olive said...

Note to Virgin Books: Osbourne's last album sold 9000 copies. Only nine thousand people could bear to pay money to listen to the talentless shitehawk quacking away on record. What makes you think that any more than that have any interest in anything she has to say about her life up to this point?

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