MTV garland Britney Spears with much, much praise

Not a thing for the Ting Tings, then, as Britney Spears is given most of the MTV Awards in a year which seems to be summed up by the attitude "oh, let's just pass them to Britney and have done with".

Here, then, are the winners:

Best Female Video
Britney Spears"Piece of Me"

Best Male Video
Chris Brown"With You"

Best Dancing In A Video
Pussycat Dolls"When I Grow Up"

Best Rock Video
Linkin Park"Shadow of the Day"

Best Hip Hop Video
Lil Wayne"Lollipop"

Best New Artist
Tokio Hotel"Ready, Set, Go!"

Best Pop Video
Britney Spears"Piece of Me"

Video Of The Year
Britney Spears"Piece of Me"

Was I a cynical man, I might wonder if the clean sweep for an okay-but-hardly-career-best tune was designed in the hope that a "Britney clean sweep" story might actually give a knackered old MTV Awards some sort of news profile beyond a down page "the MTV awards took place yesterday" story. Although judging by the acts which got prizes when Britney was elsewhere - presumably they had to give someone else the Best Dancing prize to let Spears nip off stage long enough for a wee - it could just be the result of the dullest judges in history.

And, in return for all this largesse, what did Britney do for MTV? Not a song and dance routine - perhaps wise after last year's ahem performance. Nope, she uttered four lines of welcome at the start of the show, for all the world like a carnival queen opening a supermarket.

Russell Brand was in charge this year - which we think means that the 2009 awards have to be presented by a disappointing combination of George Lamb and Davina McCall. How did he go down?

Best Week Ever reacts:

They just introduced Russell Brand, but the guy who stumbled out looks more like that weird German lead singer of Tokio Hotel. His accent sounds like the first half of My Fair Lady. He just asked everyone to elect Barack Obama. While I support the sentiment, I don’t know if Barack really needs the endorsement of someone who looks like the love child of Keith Richards and Amy Winehouse.

His performance doesn't merit any further comment.

Soulbounce was distracted by him:

9:08 Who in the hell is Russell Brand? Am I supposed to know who this weirdo is? His hair is disturbia.

9:11 OK, dude gets a pass for his pro-Obama banter/anti-Republican jokes.

But the pass was actually swiftly withdrawn:

9:19 OK, Russell, all this political comedy is going over way over people's heads.

Urbandrucker also found Brand confusing:

And... um... I loved Russell Brand in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," but he's not a great host. His humor doesn't suit the gig- he just seems NUTS.

When he popped up doing the NME Awards a couple of years ago, he seemed misplaced - and that was the bloody NME Awards (is he the first person ever to present NME and MTV VMA shows? Will he be the last?)

Idolator does its duty by listing the more interesting prizes - they gave the awards for people who actually do something before the television cameras are switched on. That's because nobody wants to be watching TV with their kid only to find themselves having to answer the question all parents dread: Daddy, what's a cinematographer?

BEST ART DIRECTION
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST DIRECTING
Erykah Badu, "Honey"

BEST EDITING
Death Cab For Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The White Stripes, "Conquest"

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS
Kanye West, "Good Life"

I'm at a loss to understand how one video can win best choreography and a totally different one picks up best dancing - unless the implication is that Pussycat Dolls totally unchoreographed?