Although is face and borrowed suit is still slapped all over the place, most of the bylines on Bizarre today are for other people, which suggests that Gordon might currently be a William Hickey like character, rather than actually in the office. Or a Smallweed.
Whoever's in charge, the struggle to find an interesting new angle on the Madonna-Bloke divorce has been lost, with Emily Smith chipping in that Madonna has "dressed" Rocco in a New York Yankees top. Smith sees this as a sly dig at Guy, what with the Yankees being Alex Rodriguez's team. This does ignore that about four billion people wear Yankees stuff, many of whose mothers will never have had a dalliance with anyone who plays for the team. It also assumes that Madonna is around when the kids are being dressed.
Someone else has written a puff-piece to advertise Kylie's calendar, which goes under the headline:
Kylie's looking 2000 and fine
2000? That's a bit harsh. Late forties at the most.