Friday, November 07, 2008

Let's not use phrases like 'whoring themselves out'

After the terrible I Can't Believe It's Not Butter slot, and Sharon's bingo slot, you might have thought The Osbournes would have realised their value to advertisers wasn't as a high-end, blue chip spokespeople and withdrawn from the field with what little of their dignity they can still lay claim to.

However, even pitching margarine and gin-sodden gambling puts cash into pockets, and so perhaps its no surprise that the entire family have signed up with an agency to seek out more opportunities:

John Ferriter, executive vice-president and head of non-scripted television at William Morris, said: "The Osbournes are international stars and have become a part of today's entertainment culture. We look forward to exploring opportunities that will capitalise on the family's global appeal and will follow the production of their new show."

Global appeal, huh? Yeah, Kelly Osbourne is the toast of Mogadishu.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This has to be a spoof article. Not only does it expect us to believe the Osbournes have 'global appeal', it also claims there's a 'Head of non-scripted television'. I don't think there's been more than five seconds of non-scripted television since 2003. What does this man actually do in an age when even Big Brother contestants are specifically selected so that the militant vegetarian and the closet BNP member will clash on day 32?

Maybe he's in charge of ensuring that animals' bowel movements occur at just the right time on
live TV shows. Which I believe was the main appeal of the Osbournes' recent etc

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