Monday, December 29, 2008

Rate 08: This year just gone: October 2008

Santana has, you know, started to have a dream of quitting music and opening a church of his own, but Beyonce was more interested in a little self-worship. Sarah Palin was offered a role in the Pussycat Dolls where, at least, she could lip-synch. No Age slightly overplayed being asked to remove an Obama shirt before going onto Craig Ferguson while the Foo Fighters told McCain to not play their stuff at his rallies. Bravely, Fall Out Boy cancelled their album so as not to distract attention from the US elections. Or perhaps from Ross and Brand's phone calls to Andrew Sachs.

The individual memebrs of Limp Bizkit decided that their inability to attract attention since their split was a problem which could only be tackled by reuniting and Dirty Pretty Things went in the opposite direction and, after Dorian's illness, The Long Blondes split.

No more fan mail: Read Ringo Starr's lips.

Plans for a variety show based on The Osbournes wobbled when the Writer's guild told members to not get involved. The Featured Artists Coalition created something a bit like the Musician's Union with some digital savvy. The music industry, meanwhile, hoped that Nokia's Comes With Music might save them, at least from iTunes. Apple's lead, though, was massive and growing. Universal's Doug Morris admitted he didn't know if the RIAA suing strategy was going to work.

Graham Gouldman moaned that nobody loved 10CC and Cliff Richard fans complained that Oasis had ripped off their idol - and not just by getting old and embarrassing. Also a little embarrassing was Guy Ritchie's dad, who felt the need to stand up for his son in the face of beastly Madonna, thereby crimping his gangster stylings. Thank god Geri Halliwell is going to start making films to save the UK film industry.

Channel 4's glittering digital radio plans were axed in the face of the impossibility of turning Hollyoaks into The Archers; to try and make the company think of something other than "oh, shit, we're all going to be sacked", Andy Burnham attempted to bring back Top of The Pops although he might have had more support trying to stop Parkinson launching his own record series.

U2 took a step closer to world domination of evil corporations by taking a chunk of LiveNation stock.

After 17 years, Guns N Roses finally announced a release for Chinese Democracy, turning a rather good running joke into a crushing disappointment.

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