Is Dan Wootton already flagging over in Rab Singh's big chair at the News Of The World? The paper has a splashy, never-going-to-know-if-it's-true-or-not story about the supposed Madonna-Guy Ritchie settlement, but that's given to James Desborough to handle.
So what does this leave the supposed Celeb XS column free to concentrate on? Stuff like this:
ANOTHER week, another daft oufit for POSH as she teeters about on skyscraper heels.
She fancies herself as a fashion queen—but she was more fashion scream in these monster sunnies, fur coat, and breath-sucking dress in New York.
No wonder she was in black. Must be mourning the loss of her dress sense.
I know celebrity gossip - especially Wootton's style of writing overlong captions to dull pictures - is all pretty pointless and that there's little to be gained by trying to arrange points on a continuum of pointlessness, but even so: this has about as much insight as a child yelling "duck-duck" when shown a flashcard.