Gordon in the morning: Looking through the transfer window

Hadn't they put the lid on the idea of David Beckham joining AC Milan? Apparently, Gordon says, it's all back on again now, because, erm, Victoria says so:

DAVID BECKHAM has finally got wife VICTORIA to agree his dream move to AC Milan — despite their family being settled in Los Angeles.

Posh and Becks held crunch talks in London ten days ago after he insisted he wanted to end his career with the giants.

Ten days ago? So in other words, before the LA Galaxy negotiators decided that Beckham was staying in LA unless AC Milan put up some extra cash.

Oh.

Milan are supposedly still hopeful of a deal, and David's doing his best to help things:

The England star has been taking Italian lessons for weeks

Ah, Becks always tries to pick up a bit of the local language before any move, although he never got more than a few basic terms while with his current team.

Emily Smith - who is like Gordon Smart but with small rooms overlooking the Hudson - has been trying to get to the bottom of Kate Moss and her "pregnancy". Well, I say "bottom":

Kate: Babies? Just big boobies

Apparently Emily Smith discovered Kate's breasts had grown by following the ancient art of reading a magazine. Philip Green, owner of BHS, was interviewing Moss for a title that Smith doesn't bother to even name. Perhaps her research didn't extend as far as looking at the front page. It was New York magazine - god knows how bad things have got for them if they're reduced to getting the bloke who runs TopShop to file for them. Anyway, Smith dutifully types up the interesting bit:

Kate was joined by billionaire Topshop owner SIR PHILIP GREEN for an interview with a magazine.

He said: “They are a bit bigger than they were, aren’t they?”

Smith gives no indication if she finds this in any way creepy, or unsettling, or inappropriate.

Back with Gordon, and it's time to consider Pixie Geldof's psychic powers:

PIXIE GELDOF knew her sister PEACHES’ marriage wouldn’t last.

The 18-year-old model - daughter of charity campaigner SIRBOB GELDOF - always suspected Peaches’ whirlwind wedding to musician MAX DRUMMEY was destined to fail.

Sadly, Gordon is unable to put these astonishing powers of foretelling the bleedin' obvious to the test, as, erm, he just read an interview in Closer.