Gordon in the morning: Civvy street

Lily Allen is seeing a decorator, according to this morning's Gordon Smart showbiz carousel. Or, as Gordon puts it:

Lil has found love again with an ordinary punter called Sam Cooper.

"Ordinary"? This dismissal of a bloke simply because he has a job that doesn't have a televised awards show connected to it isn't surprising, but, judging by the number of Suns propped on dashboards of vans, Smart is looking down on half of his paying audience for being a bit dull.

It's not like Allen's last reported boyfriend was that extraordinary, is it:

LILY ALLEN's last boyfriend was a middle-aged, multi-millionaire art dealer with a stash of pricey oil paintings.

So a bloke with some sort of picture shop, then. One with too much stock on his hand.

Still, it's always nice to see gossip columnists panic when their prey starts to date off-list. Gordon is reduced to patting Cooper on the head and running a "Lily Allen colour chart".

Oh, and the headline:

Lily’s all emulsional

Yes. The headline.

Having spent most of the last couple of weeks helping out the JLS promotional campaign, today Gordon runs a knocking piece about JLS getting cross in a nightclub:

Aston and bandmates JONATHAN "JB" GILL, MARVIN HUMES and ORITSE WILLIAMS got stroppy when mates including Britain's Got Talent pals FLAWLESS had to queue to get in.

Then Aston flew into a rage because he was too hot and JB moaned at being pestered by fans before fed-up staff finally gave them a warning.

Why the sudden change? Could it be because they've managed to make Smart's retyping of their press pack look a little silly?

JUST days ago I told you how the JLS boys had ditched their girlfriends to concentrate on stardom.

But these lads work fast.

ASTON MERRYGOLD has been bragging to pals about dating a mystery older lady.

Oops.

It's a pity they didn't get a photo of Gordon looking disappointed at the same time they did the "handing back CDs" and "celebrating with champagne" pictures.