Gordon in the morning: Winehouse has secondary sexual characteristics

If there's one thing we know from Gordon's coverage of Amy Winehouse's drunken antics during her time in St Lucia, it's that he's got no time for her crashing all over the place pissed and useless.

Right, Gordon?

Except, erm, at the Q Awards, where apparently he's delighted by her crashing about all over the place, pissed and useless:

AMY WINEHOUSE was back to her bongoed best at yesterday's Q Awards - halting proceedings for ten minutes before stumbling on stage.

Apparently, the difference between being shambolic on stage and being "at your bongoed best" is your willingness to appear in an awkward photo:

Oh, and Amy does have a little extra now, which Gordon seems a little obsessed by:

Amy's Boob Boob: Winehouse nips out for the evening

Amy’s back to her bust at show

Bust in time... Amy Winehouse

The caner, proudly displaying the fruits of her recent boob job in a revealing red dress...

There was also time for this timeless exchange:

"Thanks for your support - and for helping Dionne," she said.

Startled, I replied: "You don't need any support by the looks of things."

Grinning, she added: "Impressive, ain't they?"

"Like two snooker balls in a sock," I concluded.

You can hear the cocktail cherry swirling in the Singapore Sling, can't you?