Dear America: We're very sorry.

BBC America - using criteria which aren't clear, but might include "size of the thing that dies inside you when you hear their music" - has produced a top ten of British artists in the US:

10. Duffy
9. M.I.A.
8. Adele
7. KT Tunstall
6. Jay Sean
5. Amy Winehouse
4. Natasha Bedingfield
3. Leona Lewis
2. Radiohead
1. Coldplay

No wonder they want to buy our chocolate companies and close us down.