Gordon in the morning: How very, very proud you must be

Even by Gordon's standards, today's big splash which takes a photo of Lara Stone kissing a mate and turns it into a 'story'.

Not that he's actually saying anything about David Walliams' fiance:

Now, I'm sure nothing untoward happened and I can't blame the Frenchman for his snog. What's more, they are used to smooching. Last year they kissed for a couple of Chanel short films.

Righto. So you know there's nothing going on. So why the hell are you running it as a story? Is this some sort of postmodern tribute to James Burke's Connections and the 'Albert Memorial Still There' episode?

Oddly for a non-story, there isn't an unnamed 'pal', or 'source'. Oh, no:

A witness told me:

A witness to, erm, nothing, that would be?

Elsewhere: A The Darkness reunion. I thought we'd bolted the door?