You've got to hand it to the British music industry - just when you think they've exhausted ways of making the Brits look fusty and out of touch, they come up with a whole new level of fustiness:
OUR music aristocracy will have to doff their caps at the Brit Awards - as real-life Royalty will be at the show.
Doffing caps? Really?
PRINCE HARRY, the most rock 'n' roll Windsor, will deliver a special happy birthday message.
If by rock and roll, you mean 'tends to get drunk and dress up like a Nazi', then perhaps. Although, you'd have to add the rider "since his Aunt Wallis died".
Though since the BPI thinks that rock means sitting in a room listening to an awkward speech by a member of the aristocracy, that would suggest Charles is the most rock & roll Windsor.
(Seriously, though: Eugenie, surely? If you must have someone with a bit of the divine right sloshing about their veins, wouldn't you go for Eugenie?)
Could the organisers make this decision any more awkward and embarrassing?
A Brits spokesman said: "The only previous time the show's had anything to do with royalty was when PRINCE accepted an award with Slave scrawled on his cheek."
If you're going to go for such a weak joke, wouldn't the multiple award wins by Queen trump a single prize by Prince?
According to Gordon, this is part of Harry trying to reposition himself:
Harry lining up with the Brits is a clear sign he wants to be seen as an ambassador for UK music.
Well, that would make sense. Musical performers are such shy, retiring types they'd hardly be up to going around the world drawing attention to themselves, would they?