Valentine's Day love advice to Cheryl Cole

Hello Cheryl. Just a hint: Telling Ashley Cole that he doesn't have to go and sit in a chilly Earls Court for hours watching Peter Kay introduce the cast of Hollyoaks to present an award to Pixie Lott is rewarding bad behaviour.

In what way is the phrase "that's it, you're not going to Earls' Court now" ever going to be a punishment?