Gordon in the morning: Won't someone think of the children

You know what's upsetting in any divorce? When there are kids involved. They can't decide what to do. They're left hoping to get a weekend with one parent here, a spot of playing them off there.

You sympathy, then, for Gem and Andy, left caught in the crossfire when the Gallaghers fell out. Gordon begs for us to share our sympathy:

OASIS stars ANDY BELL and GEM ARCHER must have sore backsides from sitting on the fence.

Uh...

Neither bass player Andy nor guitarist Gem have taken sides with either LIAM or NOEL GALLAGHER since the Oasis split last summer.

Could there be a reason for this elephant-like stately balance?

But Liam is about to get them into rehearsal for live dates later this year and Noel has also needed the lads for demo sessions.

If you were left in any doubt about therestofOasis' status in Oasis, Gordon's "source" more or less nails it:

"It's great for Gem and Andy, though. They get paid twice, but it's bound to lead to trouble in the future."

Andy Bell was one of the most talented musicians of his generation, and he wound up effectively working as a labourer on wages. Perhaps rather than feting both his former employers, he could take the chance to do something that makes better use of his skills.

Meanwhile, Smart has words to chill the blood:

I hear Noel has more than enough material for a solo album.

Although that's not surprising, as the last few Oasis albums showed he considered a half-finished chorus and a couple of weak retreads of the earlier stuff more than enough for an album.