Shakira misses an open goal

The drafting in of Shakira to do the Official World Cup anthem this year hasn't exactly gone down well in South Africa:

"It's horrible," local fan Lindi Munonde said. "I'm not standing for it. I mean what is our president doing about it?"

Yes. Something must be done.

South Africans are understandably upset that - having proved they could build an infrastructure to support the event, and decided to use the football as a way of proving themselves as good as any other country - someone decided they were incapable of knocking out a cheery, cheesy ditty:

"I love it that South Africans are just coming together as South Africans and saying, 'We've got our own people and it's an African World Cup. It's ours,"' 702 Talk Radio presenter Jenny Cryws-Williams said. "We are going to put on a fantastic World Cup. Why don't we have South Africans doing it for us?"

If that's upsetting, the last line of the report will shatter hearts:

Toronto rapper K'Naan's "Waving Flag" has been adopted as Coke's officially licensed anthem for the World Cup.

The World Cup has an officially-licensed Coke anthem? What exactly does that mean, besides anyone who thinks about it feeling a little queasy?