Why on earth does Gordon give so much coverage to a scratch team he played in having a kickabout? Complete with not just photos, but also video of the fun.
I'm using the words 'fun' in no recognisable sense, by the way.
Elsewhere, there's more football nonesense as - claiming an exclusive - Smart gives acres of space to Tom Cruise:
ODDBALL movie idol TOM CRUISE reckons his pal DAVID BECKHAM will land a starring role in the NEXT World Cup - when he will be pushing 40.
Really? Did he?
Tom, who became great mates with Becks after the midfielder signed for LA Galaxy, said: "I wish he was playing in the World Cup this year. But he will be back for the next one, you know."
So Cruise didn't roll his eyes into the back of his head and wail 'Beckham... in the squad for 2014'; he just shrugged and went 'maybe next time'. Given that Tom Cruise is probably even less interested in Girl's No Touch Kicky Ball (as the Americans call football) than I am, it's more than likely he thought the next one would be next year. Or possibly even at Christmas.