Following on from the plea of one of her less successful Girls Aloud colleagues yesterday, much of the nation is indeed praying for Cheryl Cole's swift return to health, if only to spare us the daily updates and the pain of watching Gordon trying to come up with new angles, day-in, day-out.
Today, he's reduced to this:
[Tweedy's] estranged hubby ASHLEY COLE closely quizzed a TV girl about Cheryl's relationship with US dancer DEREK HOUGH.
Cheryl, 27, was rushed to hospital with a fever on Sunday after catching the potentially fatal disease on holiday in Tanzania last month with Derek, 25.
The next night, love-cheat soccer ace Ashley, 29 - on hols in Los Angeles - cornered TV assistant Marla Jackson after hearing she worked with Derek on US TV show Dancing Wth The Stars.
Oh, yes: it only takes a spot of water on your sort-of-ex-sort-of-wife's lungs, and you come crawling back.
Or is he really worried about Cheryl?
"He asked if Derek had had a lot of girlfriends, what his sense of humour's like and whether he's a big drinker."
That sounds more like someone trying to decide if he should ask for a date, doesn't it?
Elsewhere, there's a new high water mark in awkward Bizarre shots:
Aside from the hyperawkwardness of the picture - nice to see Snoop's 'are you sure this guy is important in the media?' face - is the pressing question of what in the name of old glory is Gordon wearing? Did he steal that from Little Lofty, the Fisherman's Friend trawlerman?