Gordon in the morning: Stop making us feel sympathy for Geri Halliwell

Nobody is going to be thrilled at the idea of a Geri Halliwell comeback, but if anything is going to make you want her to have a fighting chance, it's Gordon's reaction to her return.

The headline alone gives you a taste of his approach:

Geriatric

Yes, his worry is not that she wasn't very good last time round and is showing no signs of having got any better, but that she's OLD. Oh, and ugly, presumably because she's OLD:

GERI HALLIWELL - who I'd imagine bares a striking resemblance to Wagner first thing in the morning - is having another crack at the charts.

The former SPICE GIRL, like the fruity fragrance Old Spice, still believes that her unique waft is desirable in the clubs of these fine isles. Not only that, the oldest member of the girl group is setting up her own label to release her new tunes because she doesn't actually have a record deal any more.

She's old and looks like Wagner [apparently something to do with The X Factor]. Ha ha.

Geri Halliwell is five years younger than Noel Gallagher. She's fourteen years younger than Paul Weller - and there was no suggestion that he was too old or craggy when he came in to do a session for The Sun. Madonna's the same age as Paul Weller, and Gordon doesn't seem to think her age is an impediment.

And, if Gordon really wants to stick the boot in to an older, craggy type who is losing touch with the field in which they were once a superstar - well, why not write a nice bit about Mr Mudoch?