For Salon, Springsteen is the new Rolling Stones

Back when The Rolling Stones played Glastonbury, there were slew upon slew of po-faced commentary complaining that people were saying they were old, blissfully ignoring that "The Rolling Stones are old" jokes and observations are almost as old as The Stones themselves.

In fact, @stuartpenney1 dug this out from a 1973 NME:

Now, Salon's EJ Dickson is making the same basic mistake with Bruce Springsteen.

She's filed a bit about how often people tell her that they don't share her love of the Boss. They enumerate reasons:

He's old.
He sucks.
He sucks because he’s old.
He’s old because he sucks.
He sings about being a member of the working class even though he’s made millions and millions of dollars over the past 30 years
“Born in the USA” sucks.

EJ then launches into a spirited defence of his effect, which is mostly fair.

That's not the problem. The problem is the finger-pointing at who dislikes Bruce:

In my 24 years as a die-hard Bruce fan, I have had this conversation approximately eight or nine hundred thousand times. While the people on the other end tend to skew toward a specific demographic — white, male, in a creative profession, dating someone with bangs and an Egon Schiele tattoo — they come from a wide range of socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds, from Bushwick installation artists to a bouncer I met in Ireland, who used his loathing for “Born in the USA” as a launchpad for a diatribe against Michelle Obama and the Gregorian calendar. Yet despite their many differences, these people have two things in common: They’re all around my age (i.e., in their early to mid-20s), and they all loathe Bruce Springsteen. The iron fist of Bruce hatred has come down on millennials, and it has struck even the best and brightest of us.

Now, first of all, using the word "millennials" is, like dressing food with rosemary, seldom an acceptable thing to do in mixed company.

And I don't doubt that EJ does meet young people who struggle to take on board the whole rich/blue collar thing, or share a fundamental misunderstanding of Born In The USA.

But these aren't cavils that have been created by people born in the dying years of the 20th Century.

Thinking Born In The USA is some sort of proud American anthem dates back so far it's believed that someone walking their dog past Bruce's house when he was first writing the song heard a few lines coming through an open window and stood, saluting, like they were at a baseball match. Probably.

And the "he's rich, not working class" trope dates back long before twentysomethings were born - and here, once again, we can call the NME as evidence:

John Peel - not a man to be fazed by a bit of grey in the hair - despised Springsteen, and would often argue with Andy Kershaw about him.

Intense and unfair dislike of the man from New Jersey isn't a new thing the kids have come up with; instead - as hipsters so often do - they've just dusted down something from their parents and are claiming it as theirs.

Robbie Williams: Pensioner puncher

Has being accused of being too old for Radio One's A List got Robbie Williams worried? Why else would he be featured punching a pensioner in the video for Candy were it not to try and prove how he's not an older person himself?

Or maybe the older woman he hits is meant to represent 'Robbie as an elder', and by punching out Williams is trying to destroy this new image?

(Or, of course, it could be the video was shot ages ago and he wouldn't even have known he'd have been sent out into the Status Quo wilderness by Radio One when he made the clip.)

Whatever, the idea of punching a woman has gone down pretty badly with the organisations struggling to stop people treating older people like shit:

However, the National Pensioners Convention has attacked the video, with general secretary Dot Gibson telling The Sun : ''Celebrities should think twice before making ageist comments which seem to imply that pensioners should be treated in a degrading way. Elder abuse is a serious issue and needs to be tackled rather than seen as a bit of a joke. We need to be uniting the generations, not suggesting that they are different. Pensioners are just young people who grew older.''

Williams' team had a response:

A spokesperson for Williams commented: ''Robbie Williams does not condone violence in any way; the plot for this particular video did involve some aggressive scenes but they in no way reflect his views on violence in real life. He was playing a particular role in the video."

So, er, that's alright then. He only hits older women when he's on the television; in real life he doesn't do it.

I'm not sure that's actually encouraging: to foist a stereotype of people born before you as in the way and expendable. According to the UK Studyof Abuse and Neglect of Older People Prevalence Survey Report, one out of twenty-five people aged over 66 experiences abuse in any given year. That's quite a punchline, Robbie.

Gordon in the morning: Man gets slightly older as he gets a bit older

Robbie Williams won't see 35 again. This irrefutable fact doesn't seem to have stopped Gordon Smart being surprised that Williams' hair has started to grey a little and his waistline has started to expand a little.

Gordon in the morning: Stop making us feel sympathy for Geri Halliwell

Nobody is going to be thrilled at the idea of a Geri Halliwell comeback, but if anything is going to make you want her to have a fighting chance, it's Gordon's reaction to her return.

The headline alone gives you a taste of his approach:

Geriatric

Yes, his worry is not that she wasn't very good last time round and is showing no signs of having got any better, but that she's OLD. Oh, and ugly, presumably because she's OLD:

GERI HALLIWELL - who I'd imagine bares a striking resemblance to Wagner first thing in the morning - is having another crack at the charts.

The former SPICE GIRL, like the fruity fragrance Old Spice, still believes that her unique waft is desirable in the clubs of these fine isles. Not only that, the oldest member of the girl group is setting up her own label to release her new tunes because she doesn't actually have a record deal any more.

She's old and looks like Wagner [apparently something to do with The X Factor]. Ha ha.

Geri Halliwell is five years younger than Noel Gallagher. She's fourteen years younger than Paul Weller - and there was no suggestion that he was too old or craggy when he came in to do a session for The Sun. Madonna's the same age as Paul Weller, and Gordon doesn't seem to think her age is an impediment.

And, if Gordon really wants to stick the boot in to an older, craggy type who is losing touch with the field in which they were once a superstar - well, why not write a nice bit about Mr Mudoch?

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Too old for the charts

The Western Mail got incredibly excited at the news that the Pet Shop Boys might have written a song for Shirley Bassey, even although the PSBs didn't make it sound like a record coming to shops near you any time soon:

Pet Shop Boys keyboardist Chris Lowe said: “I didn’t think anyone knew about that.

“Well, we’ve written a song for Shirley Bassey which we’ve heard she likes so that’s all I know.”

But here's the problem: how can the Western Mail make a full story out of a couple of words from Chris Lowe that suggest there's not really much of a story anyway? Is there someone, perhaps, they could call; someone willing to work up analysis out of the throwaway mention that Shirley might have heard a song written by Lowe and Tennant?

HMV music expert Gennaro Castaldo said: “She doesn’t have to worry about getting in the charts anymore, she is past all of that, but she might find it quite appealing in conjunction with the Pet Shop Boys.

“You could be looking at a number one.”

Or possibly a number 37. Or maybe even a song which never sees the light of day.

Still, charming to see that HMV's obsession with bringing in the youth to their stores has reached such Logans Runesque proportions that being a bit older than the average pop star sees you being pegged as "past" wanting to have a record that sells well. It's not as if Chris Lowe is going to be welcomed a Club 18-30 holiday, is it?

If I can't sing to the top, I'll sue to the top

You've got admire Drew Cumming's gumption. Knocked back by the makers of American Idol as being "too old" - Drew is fifty - he's launched a second bid for fame by attempting to

"become the poster child for baby boomers' and age discrimination rights."

In other words, he's suing. His line is that most of the top grossing live acts are over forty - which is true. But then again, Macca, Jagger and Springo haven't just stepped off the set of some twatty karaoke sing-a-long.