Monday, December 27, 2010

Not Forgot-Ten: September 2010

"Me! I'm the man with child in his eyes" cried Steve Blacknell, ruining a song once and for all. Once again, Morrissey managed to sound a bit racist. For a man without a prejudiced bone in his body, he's managed to have more racially-tinged unfortunate coincidences than Barry Evans' character in Mind Your Language. Tony Blair revealed that Bono was right and Red Wedge was misdirected. For his pains, he got to meet Jedward. Dorian Lynskey, meanwhile, was worrying that if we treat Bono as an overinflated landlord with dubious, fluctuating ethics, it might make it hard for other musicians to be like him. Yes, that's very much the idea.

Kanye West sort-of apologised to Taylor Swift, but still made it look like it was about him. Katy Perry feels validated as an artist by her second album, now that the clothes aren't getting between her and the audience. The Charlatans had another health trauma as Jon Brookes collapsed on stage. Nicky Wire still can't resist having a pop at any other band going; nor can Mani, but he apologised to Peter Hook for going to far.

Ha, ha, ha, that joke about murdering gays and their families and friends at random to punish Perez Hilton was hilarious, 50 Cent. You really are a wit. The terrible joke that was JLS condoms became chilling reality. Supposedly, somebody offered Busted a million quid to get back together. Charlie Simpson also turned down a related offer to buy Tower Bridge. Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson picked up a lucrative second job.

In a moment like something out a heritage fair, Pete Doherty was charged with possession. Wyclef Jean, having decided against running for president, took some sick leave instead. George Michael was somehow something to do with the Moors Murders according to a very confused Sun. We don't want to fling filth at our pop kids, said South Korea.

Radio 2 decided to drop Dale Winton to give new talent a chance, and hired Tony Blackburn. Radio 1 persisted with Chris Moyles, even after a half-hour of him moaning about a slightly delayed payment. Their colleagues in television were trying to create Top Of The Pops without anyone noticing it was Top Of The Pops.

Returning: Kingmaker. Quitting: Duff McKagan from Velvet Revolver. Reuniting: The Icicle Works.

Guy Garvey came up with a complicated quasi-Catholic approach to file sharing as France's Hadopi law kicked in. Although it didn't stop the coalition saying record companies had to pay for unlicensed filesharing investigations, Feargal Sharkey still found some money to schmooze the Liberal Democrats with. One of the companies doing very nicely out filesharing panics, ACS:Law, turned out to not be so hot on their own web security.

Format of the month: Qriocity, Sony's iTunes killer.

HMV's rather good 2009 gave way to a miserable 2010, as it ran out of rivals to have close down and make it look good. Is indie in peril? Depends on what magazine you read, it turns out.

This month, Lady GaGa was marketing herself as a halloween costume.


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