Gordon in the morning: Dreams burn down

Gordon breaks horrifying news this morning:

CHERYL COLE might have to unpack the suntan lotion - her American dream is in crisis.

It turns out the people looking after the US version of The X Factor are worried that Cheryl might not be right for the judge's role and are looking for... checks paperwork ah, yes... looking for someone Americans might have heard of.

On the other hand, this story is sourced to, erm...

A pal of her boyfriend DEREK HOUGH

Now, that might sound like a weak patio on which to place your news barbecue, but that would be to misunderstand American television. No US executive would make a move without running it past one or other of the friends of someone who's been on Dancing With The Stars. "Is Matthew Perry right for this role? Can you get me Bristol Palin's High School BFF on the phone so I can check?"

Gordon explains the problem:

But the bottom line is simple - the producers still need convincing. Simon wields a lot of power but he has to play a diplomatic game on US soil to keep Fox, who are making the show, sweet.

God, can you imagine that, Gordon - fancy having to shape your every move just to keep a bunch of suits appointed by the Murdoch family happy, eh?