Gordon in the morning: Top of the world pops

Yesterday, Simon Cowell "invented" a game show, which appears to be people guessing from two things, but in a big arena surrounded with people cheering.

Today, he's inventing a new Top Of The Pops:

But Cowell, 51, said last night: "It's not cost effective just doing it in the UK.

"To do it properly it would need to be bigger than one country."

The Sun have decided this means it's going to be "global" rather than the more plausible American/British version.

Of course, it's never going to happen - sure, there might be a music show where Will.I.Am and whoever gets the chance to be Steve Brookstein appear together, but a week-in, week-out programme that features the people at the top of some nebulous "global chart"?

Never going to happen.

Si, who is launching X Factor in America, said: "It's for a year down the line."

In other words, it's never going to happen.