Westlife go west; end life

This is how it ends: not with a bland, but with a rolling farewell tour. Westlife have announced they're slaughtered their last song; the bar stools will be turned over and placed on a table for the last time next year.

Mark Out Of Westlife said: "we've been told we can only do a lucrative reunion tour if we break up in the first place, which makes this inevitable."

Relatives of Westlife's victim, Music, told journalists that although they were pleased to hear the torment was to end, it wouldn't repair the damage it has done.