Tom Clarke: I am not a Hobbit

Time Out appears to have called Tom Clarke out The Enemy a Hobbit.

Tom - known for his outspoken barbs himself - giggled a little and said 'you know what? I wish I had one-tenth of Martin Freeman's charisma'.

Oh, sorry, I'll just read that again. He didn't do that.

Instead he did this:

@Leonbradley7 @theenemyband @TimeOutLondon I like how they stooped to playground insults rather than anything insightful. Poor journalism.

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) September 9, 2014

If I had a pound for everytime a journalist called me a hobbit I could buy enough bullets to round them up and disfigure the lot of them.

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) September 9, 2014

Absolute fucking children. What they fail to appreciate is that I've achieved more than they ever will despite being a fucking hobbit.

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) September 9, 2014

Morons. Jealous, juvenile, inept, generically conformist morons. With your little pens. Do me a favour and get yourself a life transplant.

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) September 9, 2014

It's 2014 and we're still obsessed with what people look like instead of who they are or what they do. Society needs to grow the fuck up.

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) September 9, 2014

Tom, Tom, Tom. They don't use little pens any more. Actually, little pens was people in bookies or Argos; most journalists used normal sized pens. They use keyboards. Although maybe you misspelled penis.

We perhaps shouldn't be surprised that Tom is threatening to shoot people in the face for a mild comment - he also uses his Twitter feed to bang on at some length about his broadband problems.

And there's this:

Twitter raped.....got to respect that ☺️

— Tom Clarke (@tomclarke_enemy) August 12, 2014

I have no idea what Tom is referring to. But I'm pretty certain he hasn't, actually, been raped.

Time Out did make a mistake in calling Tom Clarke a Hobbit. It's easy to get confused, but the cave-dwelling fictional creature they were really going for was a Teletubby.