Jagger slaps Cameron & struts out of Davos

Ah, this morning's lavish coverage of Mick Jagger turning up at Dave and/or Boris' expensive Davos tea party must have thrilled the Number 10 press office.

The grins have probably faded somewhat, as Jagger has pulled out, fuming at being described, for example, as a Tory by Gordon Smart this morning:

The Rolling Stones frontman said: "During my career I have always eschewed party politics and came to Davos as a guest, as I thought it would be stimulating.

"I have always been interested in economics and world events.

"I now find myself being used as a political football and there has been a lot of comment about my political allegiances which are inaccurate.

"I think it's best I decline the invitation to the key event and curtail my visit."

That's pretty much a disendorsement of Cameron, then. Or possibly of Boris. Or probably both.

Gordon in the morning: Jagger swagger

Not often the scribbling of Tom Newton Dunn, The Sun's political editor, makes it onto Gordon's pages, but his story today that Mick Jagger is going to help Cameron promote Britain.

Of course, this is at an event overseas; Jagger and The Rolling Stones being famously averse to spending too long in Britain lest they actually pay their fair share of tax.

It's at Davos, which will give Mick a chance to visit his money at the same time.

This, apparently, is a "publicity coup":

The Rolling Stones legend will be star attraction at an event in Switzerland organised by Downing Street to boost investment to the UK in the Olympics year.

No10 is "tickled pink" with the publicity coup, a senior Government source told The Sun.

Hang about, though... what's this further down the story?

The tea party — officially hosted by London mayor Boris Johnson

So it's not actually organised by Downing Street, then?

In case you don't already feel queasy enough at this, somebody has come up with a "No 10's Top 10" of hilariously retitled Rolling Stones songs. It includes Paint It Blue and Little Blue Rooster. No, really.

Bono: Of course he's in Davos

Now we know why Bono is wearing those glasses: it's to hide the tears. He revealed the truth about his shame at a Davos conference:

"It's like being with an Irish priest. You start to confess your sins. Father Al, I am not just a noise polluter, I am a noise-polluting, diesel-soaking, gulfstream-flying rock star.

"I'm going to kick the habit. I'm trying father Al, but oil has been very good for me - those convoys of articulated lorries, petrochemical products, hair gel."

So, when Bono needs to confess about his carbon footprint, he flies to see Al Gore in America. Then he flies to Davos, to tell a conference full of other people who've flown to Davos, all about how upset he is.

Al Gore might be an eco-Priest, Bono. At least he's not a Whisky Priest.

Bono fears a "generation of cynics"

Yeah, Bono. Whatever.

Bono has popped up, as expected, hanging out with the other multi-millionaires at Davos - a bit of business here, round of golf there, quick speech and then lunch. He was mainly there, of course, to "put pressure" on the politicians to ensure they kept the already piss-weak promises he and Geldof let them get away with at Gleneagles.

Apparently, Bono thought a matey photo-op and a bit of joking about with Tony Blair would be the best way to draw attention to the failure to follow-through:

GUITAR-loving Mr Blair, set to step down this year, got excited as Bono said: “Let’s start a band when you leave.” The PM, who played in student band Ugly Rumours, said: “I thought great, at last!” But Bono added: “You know, to save Africa — we can be a band.”

Ho-ho.

Bono is worried that if things don't carry on looking like they're being done, it might breed a "generation of cynics". And you know why he's worried - imagine if a generation of cynics turned up outside Davos demanding real change. That could really put him off his golf-swing.

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