The Spectator listens to Lily Allen

The Spectator, trying to make things easier for the Establishment, isn't going to let Lily Allen try and land a blow on David Cameron:

Making clear her opposition to Cameron, Allen claimed on Twitter that he has been ‘stealing’ from the public and needs to resign:

Our Prime Minister has been stealing from us. It's very important that he resigns.

Alas Allen has failed to offer up any evidence to back up her claim. Given that offshore does not automatically equal tax avoidance, Blairmore itself does not appear to have been used specifically to reduce Cameron’s tax bill. In fact, when he sold his shares, he paid income tax on the dividends.

Except the prospectus for Blairmore did explicitly state it was being set up in such a way to minimise tax payments for the company in the UK; and obviously, if a company sits out of the country to avoid paying tax in the UK, it means that the Camerons are cashing in from profits inflated at the expense of UK taxpayers. All legal, of course, but the very fact that Dave has struggled to keep the pile of cash out of sight suggests that even he knows it's not entirely moral.

The Spectator thinks it has a winning argument, though:

Still, given that Allen is taking such an avid interest in Cameron’s family’s tax affairs, perhaps it’s worth reminding readers of some her father Keith Allen’s comments on tax avoidance. In 2011, the comedian came to U2’s defence after the Irish band were accused of tax evasion over their offshore affairs:

‘That whole thing about getting U2 to pay their tax and whatever… I don’t actually hold with the argument.’

What ever would Lily say?

Ah, yes. You should be judged based on the standards of your fathers' behaviour. Although, oddly, when people try to suggest that Cameron senior's tax avoidance somehow throws his shade on Dave's behaviour, that's wrong.

Cameron gets briefing on Rita Ora to make him look in touch

What's worse than a politician who shoehorns in references to pop culture to try and "connect" with the "electorate"?

A politician whose advisors give him those references to drop in. David Laws says David Cameron was prepped to know who the cool pop stars with "the kids" (or, at least, ITV executives) were:

DAVID Cameron got a top-secret briefing on Rita Ora to make sure he could show off his common touch.

The PM was filled in on the pop star’s chart success so he could show off his knowledge in interviews.

Aides namechecked Rita just as she hit No.1 with I Will Never Let You Down.

I think The Sun is probably overselling this as a "top secret briefing" - it's unlikely he was taken to a COBRA committee to be shown ten seconds of the Never Let You Down video.

I hope they're still doing this. I really like the idea of someone tasked with having to sit down Dave at Friday teatime for the latest charts.

David Cameron "too busy" for Ellie Goulding

Ellie Goulding sought an interview with David Cameron, the current Prime Minister of some of the United Kingdom. He couldn't find time:

The Starry Eyed singer wanted to meet with David Cameron in her role as patron for the Marylebone Project, which is dedicated to helping homeless women in London.

But the 29-year-old, who has campaigned for vulnerable people since rising to fame, said she and project chief executive Mark Russell were told the PM didn't have the time to meet with them.

She told The Mirror: "We genuinely just wanted a chat to see what his view was on it. We're not trying to confront him.

"Mark reached out to talk about the recent housing bills and received one of those standard letters, so I don't know whether he even saw it or not.

"I can't say at this point that he's not interested, as I don't know if that's the case. It might be that he's looking for an opportunity to do something."

This story might, then, be 'someone in Prime Minister's office sends form reply to letter' but the Belfast Telegraph decided to go with this as the headline:

Ellie Goulding claims snub by David Cameron over women's issues talks

They repeated the "snub" in a photo caption on the story:

Ellie Goulding claims David Cameron snubbed her after she asked to discuss women's issues with him

And the first paragraph of the story also drops the s-bomb:

Pop star Ellie Goulding said she was snubbed by the Prime Minister after asking to discuss women's issues with him.

The only thing is, she doesn't actually say, or claim, that she was snubbed - just says, with an air of reasonableness, that no meeting was arranged and Dave probably didn't even have anything to do with it.

It's not quite as bad as the claims that circulated this week suggesting she used IV drips rather than food as some sort of diet fad. But it's still unfair. It's even unfair on bloody Cameron, and anything that makes you feel sympathy for the Grinning Pauper-kickbot has to be a bad thing.

Old pals under pressure

Daily Mail & Dave apparently believes Hear'Say still a going concern

The funniest thing about Dave Cameron's embrace of Myleene Klass and her 'how can you punish me for being rich' special pleading - and the gurgling delight the Mail has shown - is that both seem convinced that Klass is still a pop star.

Hear'Say broke up on the 13th May, 2003 - so not pop for 11 years - and hasn't troubled the top 10 since 2002. So not a pop star for a dozen years.

What's strange is, if Dave had gone with the more accurate 'woman from the Littlewoods catalogue adverts', it would probably have had more sting.

Citizens should have lessons in copyright morals and ethics

MP for Hove Actually Mark Weatherley, who somehow has been entrusted with advising David Cameron on matters relating to intellectual property, wants kids to be taught copyright morality in schools:

In a 51-page report that was just released Weatherley stresses the importance of copyright awareness and education, especially for the younger generation. This is needed as respect for copyright has declined in recent years and some even believe that sharing copyrighted material without permission is not a big deal.

“There is … a certain level of tolerance for the idea that IP infringements could be considered legitimate. Some believe that illegal activity online is a social norm, with no moral implications,” Weatherley writes.

“We are at risk of an entire generation growing up with different levels of respect for IP and copyright in particular. Should this social contract disappear, there could be longer-term consequences beyond the immediate, short-term negative impacts experienced by the creative sector,” he adds.

We would quote some chunks of his report, but, hey, let's respect the guy's right to be wrong in private, yes?

The idea of schools having honest education about the morality and ethics of the copyright industry isn't all bad - getting teenagers to explore the reasons why copyright used to expire after a sensible period, and debating the consistent push back of that expiration as MPs like Weatherley do the bidding of multinational corporations could make for lively lessons and an aware populace.

However, what Weatherley is actually suggesting isn't that the ethics and morality of the copyright industry be taught at all; he just wants lessons based on that awful thing they make you watch at the start of DVDs.

Sidenote: Mike Weatherley, besides being an MP, has found time in his busy routine to be director of a bunch of companies associated with MPLC, a company that exists to "help" people with copyright licences. You might think that this exciting hinterland means that Weatherley is something of an expert in the field, which he is sharing with the rest of the coalition. Equally, though, you might wonder if this means he might not have started his report with the most open of minds.

Twittergem: Barlow's OBE

My cartoon - I didn’t realise that the Conservative Party is a charity! #Barlow pic.twitter.com/0mrMJJlOaf

— Martin Shovel (@MartinShovel) May 12, 2014

Bob Geldof and Bono: Perhaps they spent the interval talking truth to power

I know we don't need any further evidence that Geldof and Bono's outsider act is, well, an act, but in case you're still looking to be convinced, who turned up for Matthew Freud's birthday in what for most people would be the 'clown making balloon animals' slot?:

Guests thought to include Davina McCall and Jimmy Carr were treated to a performance from Bob Geldof and U2 frontman Bono. The duo joined forces to perform a rendition of Martha and the Vandellas’ Dancing in the Street.

Amongst the revellers were the Blairs, Cameron and Osborne.

But I'm sure Bob and Bono were thinking about the poor the whole time they did it.

Little man, what now? Cameron defies Smiths ban

Johnny Marr has perhaps overworked the 'don't listen to us, David Cameron' schitck now, and it's all to no avail: David Cameron is going to go on listening to The Smiths:

In Delhi for a diplomatic and trade-building mission, he stood defiant, smiling as he told the BBC: "I've now got Johnny Marr and other members of the band saying I'm not able to listen to the The Smiths.

"When I've got the complete and full set, even then, I'm afraid, I will go on and listen to The Smiths."

Of course Cameron's not listening to the pleas of Johnny Marr. He's quite the reputation for not listening to heartfelt pleas.

(Note to the BBC: Are you sure it's a "diplomatic and trade-building mission"? Looks more like a man trying to raise his international fees for when he's out of office from where I'm sitting.)

Love Ain't Here Anymore: Whatever happened to Gary and Dave's big competiton?

Back in the days of the 2010 election campaign, Gary Barlow and David Cameron shared a stage in Nantwich to launch a major, eyecatching initiative. Political Scrapbook is wondering whatever happened to it?

It was to be the School Stars scheme, and the Tories press released the buttocks out of it:

"Nothing brings people together like music, said Cameron, speaking at a school in Nantwich. "With School Stars we’re going to see kids practising together in the corridors, forming bands, getting together in lunch-breaks to sing and dance."

The competition will use the inspirational power of music to reach as many pupils as possible with a format which will unearth talent, ability and excellence around the country.

The initiative is backed by Gary Barlow, one of the most successful British songwriters of all time as well as by commercial radio stations and major players in the music industry.

As Political Scrapbook point out, it's gone a bit quiet since then.

The assumption would be that the School Stars Scheme came to nothing, but that isn't true at all.

Dave got a photo-op with one of the-then most popular members of Take That in the run up to an election.

And Gary? Gary was rewarded for his work helping get Dave to Number 10 not just with an OBE, but also by being protected when his dodgy tax arrangements came to light.

Oh, yes, those kids who Dave was wanting to pump with self-belief might have got bugger all out of it, but that was never the point, was it?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Cameron shouldn't have been on Chris Evans

Apparently, David Cameron was down the Olympic Park on Thursday. Of course he was; he hasn't done a hand's turn for the last fortnight, instead choosing to try and photobomb the Olympics in a scratchy Team GB vest, clutching a Wenlock.

This time, though, he spent twenty minutes chuntering on on the Chris Evans show.

We know how much the Tories hate any hint of the bias at the BBC, and yet they seem surprisingly relaxed about this, despite it being a breach of guidelines. MediaGuardian explains:

The BBC has strict guidelines governing the appearance of politicians on non-news programmes, which require senior executive approval, as well as topical issues that are the subject of public debate.

Such is the level of sensitivity over the interview that the BBC is believed to have discussed internally whether to remove it from the iPlayer. It remained available at the time of publication.

"Nobody knew anything until it was too late to do anything about it. It was a huge cock-up," said one BBC insider.

Cameron was so desperate to please he even started to act like he was part of Steve Wright's posse:

Cameron read out a number of text messages from listeners in the "listener breaking news" section of the show, which included "I let my new chickens out this morning" and "On my way to pick up my new Mini".

The prime minister commented: "That's buying British, I approve of that."

Mini is a German company, Prime Minister. Remember, Thatcher flogged off most of our car industry to the private sector, Dave?

Perhaps it wouldn't have been such a disaster if Chris Evans had been anything other than a fawning patsy:

Evans, who introduced Cameron as the "prime minister of Great Britain, the ultimate Team GB", read out the newspaper headlines and asked Cameron: "They've not been bad headlines over the last 13 days, have they prime minister?"

Labour, to its credit, has kept quiet on the matter.

George Michael:Not much faith in Leveson

George Michael has swung a Twitter bat at David Cameron and the Tories, and Rupert Murdoch, and... oh, everyone:

The singer made his remarks in a series of tweets on Tuesday morning, ranting about Rupert Murdoch, David Cameron, phone hacking, the Daily Mail and the allegedly "sham" system that he claims has failed to jail any journalist for criminal activities apart from the royal editor of the News of the World, five years ago.

Michael started his tweets 10am by criticising the Daily Mail for not covering remarks he made in defence of gay teenagers.

He then moved to Murdoch: "who btw, has been called 'unfit' to run a major media company by MPs. Understatement of the year?".

Then Michael laid into the Tories over two sequential tweets: "And it's so funny that the Conservatives in government are defending him! Trying to cover their arses when those lily white buttocks of theirs are already on display for the whole world to see. Cameron must be the most cowardly PM we've seen for decades."

To finish off, Michael claims that he'd been asked to appear at the Leveson enquiry but had turned them down.

It turns out this might have all the truth of Andre Ridgeley saying that he was invited to do his thing on Listen Without Prejudice - Volume One, but was too busy.

If you're asked to appear at Leveson, you have no choice but to appear; it's possible that Michael was given the opportunity to appear as a volunteer, but didn't; even so, that wouldn't have come from the Enquiry team.

Gordon in the morning: Fighting for America

There's nothing that Gordon Smart likes more than a chart battle. He sees them where nobody else does.

BRITISH music is littered with spectacular chart scraps.

Two of the best kicked off in the last couple of decades with Take That going toe-to-toe with East 17, then Blur battled with Oasis.

Now The Wanted and One Direction are starting to square up — the boybands are locked in a fight to crack the US first, and the war of words is hotting up.

"Cracking the States first" isn't really a chart battle. And it's not even a battle, anyway - One Direction have had a single which trickled in to the US charts at 28; The Wanted have gone platinum in the US and gone top five. Pretending there's still some sort of race to be first is a bit like wondering who'll be the first to get to the South Pole.

Blimey, though: Cameron, One Direction and The Wanted all turning up in America at the same time. America must think we hate them.

David Cameron: Stand and deliver

David Cameron is, it turns out, fond of Thin Lizzy:

David Cameron is, however, unlikely to provoke any cruel titters with his more believable choice: Whiskey in the Jar by Thin Lizzy.

“It has one of the best guitar riffs in the history of rock music,” the Prime Minister says, demonstrating some knowledge of the music in question. “I have it on i-tunes or play it when needing a lift.”

Ah, yes, whenever I need a lift, a jolly tale of a highway robbery and being betrayed by your partner is exactly what I'd choose.

You just know he does air guitar, don't you?

Jagger slaps Cameron & struts out of Davos

Ah, this morning's lavish coverage of Mick Jagger turning up at Dave and/or Boris' expensive Davos tea party must have thrilled the Number 10 press office.

The grins have probably faded somewhat, as Jagger has pulled out, fuming at being described, for example, as a Tory by Gordon Smart this morning:

The Rolling Stones frontman said: "During my career I have always eschewed party politics and came to Davos as a guest, as I thought it would be stimulating.

"I have always been interested in economics and world events.

"I now find myself being used as a political football and there has been a lot of comment about my political allegiances which are inaccurate.

"I think it's best I decline the invitation to the key event and curtail my visit."

That's pretty much a disendorsement of Cameron, then. Or possibly of Boris. Or probably both.

Twittergem: On current events

From @david_flynn:

David Cameron you massive plum head. How the hell do we expect to get any points in Eurovision now? #letsnotbother

Alex James: The big cheese is rotting

The Guardian's Lost In Showbiz returns to the flop of Alex James' cheese festival, which has gone bankrupt. And guess who's left out of pocket?

Erm, the local school. Marina Hyde explains:

But perhaps our greatest sympathy should be reserved for the local school, Kingham primary. The school organises its own annual music festival, and was asked to use its contacts to book performers for the Friday night at Harvest. It duly provided seven bands. (How quaint that the acts at Alex James's festival were being provided by the local primary. Does he not have a contacts book of his own?)

The school now feels unable to comment, but a couple of weeks ago, headteacher Ed Read told the Cotswold Journal that it was owed £7,000 for the entertainment it organised.

It's hard to believe that the idea of mixing music and cheese could produce a terrible festival. Perhaps it was the type of people the event attracted kept away larger numbers of punters?

Helpfully, Marina has a photo of the types who did show up:

Yes, that's a photo of Clarkson and David Cameron, enjoying themselves at the expense of a state school. An ordinary day for Dave, in other words.

Just when you think Alex James can't sink any lower:

He has also made several appearances to promote his Alex James Presents line of cheese at Asda. "It's generated something like £2m worth of publicity," he trilled recently. "It even made the New York Times! But I suppose that's what I set out to do."

Ah, hooking up with the not-entirely-cuddly WalMart organisation. Because we know what a great friend of the organic, local food movement WalMart are.

Morrissey responds to current events

Morrissey played London last night - Brixton, where apparently there was a minor kick-off later on - and offered his response to the riots:

Performing as rioting erupted in Brixton less than 24 hours after similar clashes in Tottenham, Morrissey criticised the prime minister's response to the incidents.

"Does anyone think that David Cameron has been to Tottenham? I don't think so," he told the crowd.

Later in the gig, Morrissey also referred to the student riots last December, according to the Evening Standard.

"In what our slanted media called the student riots, Charles and 'Camel' came face to face with the British public, without the protection of Buckingham Palace or the police,” he said.

“And what happened to them, I couldn't stop laughing about for weeks - no, months."

He probably has a point on Cameron.

Glastonbury 2011: Christopher Shale was already in the news today

It could just be one of those strange coincidences, but Christopher Shale, the West Oxfordshire Conservative Association chair found dead at Glastonbury this morning was already in today's headlines, as the Mail On Sunday had got hold of a document he produced basically slagging the Tories off:

In a sign of how hard the party is finding it to attract new members, the document concedes that the Prime Minister’s own association gained only 22 members in the past year.

Their response is ‘Operation Vanguard’, which is designed to achieve a ‘transformational increase in [West Oxfordshire Conservative Association] membership, in ways others can apply to similar effect nationally’.

The plan is brutally frank about the failings of the constituency party. Shale writes that ‘collectively we are not always an appealing proposition’.

He slams the association’s fundraising efforts, saying: ‘Over the years we have come across as graceless, voracious, crass, always on the take.’

Strange timing.

[Thanks to @dillpickle]

Glastonbury 2011: Dead man named

SkyNews has just tweeted this:

Man who died in portable toilet at Glastonbury festival named as Christoper Shale, chairman of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association

That's David Cameron's association, of course.