I owe it all to Amy - what, exactly?

It's true, but probably both more true and less than it seems:

Amy Winehouse's pop star goddaughter Dionne Bromfield says she owes much of her success to the tragic songstress.

You might want to quibble with word success - admittedly, Bromfield has a BAFTA under her belt, for the CBBC series she co-presented, but beyond that... even with a guest spot on Strictly, her biggest hit to date stalled at 43; her last album sank without trace.

But you can't argue that the Winehouse connection has helped her enormously - indeed, that six years in to her career articles about her still start by referencing her late godparent, and that many of the pieces about her focus exclusively on that relationship, it could be the only thing keeping her afloat.

Which is a shame - who knows how Bromfield's musical career would have played out had it been allowed to breathe rather than carrying the weight of the departed Amy?

Gordon in the morning: He really, really, reallys wants to zig... oh, please yourselves

Although he ran exactly the same story a couple of weeks ago, and despite that story being denied instantly by Mel B, Gordon is back with the claims that the Spice Girls are going to reunite.

Again.

Only without Beckham.

And, erm, possibly, without Bunton.

In fact, Gordon does admit - seemingly by accident - that his first story was total bunkum:

I revealed a couple of weeks back that Mel and Stephen had discussed a one-off Spice Girls appearance at the World Cup in South Africa next summer.

It sounds like the response has encouraged talks about another big comeback.

Actually, Gordon, your original story wasn't that "Mel and Stephen" had discussed a one-off comeback - you actually said:

She has already got Ginger Spice GERI HALLIWELL, Baby EMMA BUNTON and Sporty MELANIE CHISHOLM on board.

Did you forget that? Only you have ragged out the story from the paper that you're now trying rewrite, including the bit that you're now trying to conveniently forget.

Meanwhile: How many times has Gordon 'introduced' Dionne Bromfield to the word now? I make it four, but I might be losing count.

Gordon in the morning: You've done this already

Amy Winehouse forcing her goddaughter into her footsteps?

But while AMY WINEHOUSE's beehive, tattoos and druggie past may not fit the image, she's busy working her magic for goddaughter DIONNE BROMFIELD.

The singer has conjured up a top recording contract for the 13-year-old starlet on her new label Lioness Records, which launches this week.

Didn't you already do this story back in July?

She's got a string of meetings in the next few days to put the finishing touches to her record label, Lioness.

Amy is also preparing the release of the debut album by her 13-year-old goddaughter, DIONNE BROMFIELD, for later in the year.

Actually - didn't you do this story back in March as well?

Dionne, from Chislehurst, Kent, has signed to Amy's new record company, Lioness.

She will become the first artist to release an album on the label this spring.

Her debut compilation will include original music as well as cover versions, with Amy singing on three songs and doing backing vocals on others.

Still, at least repeatedly revealing that Amy Winehouse is using her goddaughter to try and rebuild her image makes a change from the daily non-stories about Robbie Williams. Today, by the way, it's a UFO watching tale.

Amy Winehouse: More unlikey television news

Amy Winehouse is going to start her road back by, erm, standing in the background behind Bruce Forsyth, according to The First Post:

Singer Amy Winehouse, who is said finally to have kicked her drugs habit, is making a surprising comeback: as a backing singer on Strictly Come Dancing. The beehive-sporting, tattooed singer has agreed to sing back-up for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield during a performance on the BBC reality TV show.

Let's assume for just a moment that this is a true story: would it really be fair to Dionne Bromfield to overshadow her big break by having Godmama crashing about in the background?

Bromfield is being groomed as a future star (Amy without the demons, if there can be an Amy without the demons); having her on Saturday night TV doing a turn with Winehouse wouldn't project that image - it'd just make her look like she'd had her letter picked out by Jimmy Saville.

Mind you, that's if there is any value in the story in the first place. The First Post isn't exactly well-sourced on this one:

An unidentified source told a tabloid newspaper that: "Everybody's extremely nervous about the appearance but the team are confident Amy could make it work and really do some good for Dionne. She’s promised to not mess it up on the night."

Presumably the tabloid newspaper was running the story on condition of anonymity?

Amy Winehouse discovers nepotism

The News of the World is thrilled - thrilled - this morning to report that Amy Winehouse is launching her own record label:

MEET Amy Winehouse, (the ever so unlikely) Music Mogul.

The recovering drug addict is spending a whopping £1 million to launch her own record company.

Well, that makes sense. She's done so well at managing her own affairs, why wouldn't she take on some other, younger, less together artists under her wing? I'm picturing something like putting Anakin in charge of the Younglings.

The trouble with running a record label is that you have to spend time trudging about, watching bands, listening to mp3s. How is Amy going to make room in her busy minesweeping and trapeze schedule to find acts to sign?

She’s named the business Lioness and has already made her first signing — her uber-talented 12-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield.

Amy Winehouse is somebody's godmother? Supposedly pledged to protecting this Dionne from Satan? Presumably by distracting him and keeping him busy?

Yes, by a fabulous stroke of good fortune, Amy has managed to find an "uber-talented" artist for her label simply by concentrating hard to remember some people she knows.

Naturally, what parent wouldn't be delighted at the thought of their preteen being taken under Amy's protective wing and being shown the route through the potential pitfalls of the music industry?

Amy is so confident that Dionne has what it takes to become Britain’s next pop sensation she’s teamed her up with US star Lady Gaga, soul singer Lemar and X Factor finalist Eoghan Quigg to record duets.

Lemar? Eggand Quim? Short of making the poor child dress up in a Mr Wimpy costume and record a song with Michael Barrymore, it's hard to see how the kid could be any more hobbled. Perhaps Amy is approaching it like when twelve year-olds get swimming certificates: everyone knows that in the real world you won't have to rescue someone clinging to brick while wearing pyjamas, but being able to overcome the extreme disadvantage is good training.