Sugababes: Now comprising entirely of third Sugababes

It's confusing times trying to work out exactly what's going on over at the Sugababes, and in confusing pop times we look to Popjustice for clarification.

And there, you find a statement even Popjustice has trouble explaining:

Monday 21st September

The current line-up of the Sugababes has disbanded.

Heidi Range and Amelle Berrabah will continue as the Sugababes and will be joined by new member Jade Ewen. They release their album ‘Sweet 7’ on November 23rd through Island Records.

Keisha Buchanan will continue to record for Island Records as a solo artist.

So Heidi, Amelle and her off of Eurovision are now going to pretend to be the Sugababes, somehow, despite none of them having been around when... well, when this happened:

Sugarbabes - Overload
by FabCure

There comes a point when you might take a look at the name above the shop, and wonder if it really fits anymore. Calling Amelle-Heidi-Jade the Sugababes makes about as much sense as the Carphone Warehouse sticking doggedly to its name rather than adopting the more honest Pay As You Go Hovel-Shed.

Third Sugababe changes

The position of third Sugababe is, like the American Presidency or chairmanship of the Wheeltapper And Shunter's Club, a limited appointment. Oh, you might be able to find a new role as second Sugababe, but that's only for the lucky few - for most, you get one, maybe two, terms, and then that's it. You're moving on.

Heatworld is just reporting that Amelle Berrabah's time in the band has come to an end; perhaps one of the least-successful Third Sugababes in living memory, she's mainly been successful at getting the brand linked to dubious stories involving terrible allegations and great upsetment.

In a surprise move, they have decided the time is right to appoint the first ever Celebrity Third Sugababe (it's not known if this version, like Celebrity Big Brother, will only last for about one-tenth the time when it's an unknown holding the post.)

Well, I say celebrity - it's actually supposedly Jade Ewen, who is putting promotional work for her solo career on hold:

Jade Ewen's record label Geffen sent an official statement out just a few minutes ago which read, "Due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, we regret to inform you that Jade Ewen will be taking time off from all promotional activity for the foreseeable future."

Since this promotional work basically involved being seen leaving bars with one of JLS, it's not like there's going to be a lot of effort gone to waste there, then.

Bookmakers William Hill are taking odds on David Cameron replacing Jade by the end of the autumn; you can get 7-4on.

[Thanks to Michael M for flashing the news]

Gordon in the morning: He must be on points

Gordon Smart's continuing, bemusing role as patsy for the JLS PR department continues this morning as he dutifully types up an event featuring one of JLS and puts it on his pages.

Obviously, a story with Aston Merrygold isn't really a story at all - no matter how eager to please Simon Cowell the Bizarre team are, they have to have something to convince people that this isn't just an advertising feature reminding people that JLS exist.

How about if they throw in Jade Ewen? Yes you do... she didn't win Eurovision, and then managed a number 27 hit with the song. And - how fortunate! - she's just a couple of weeks away from releasing her debut album, just as JLS are preparing their debut album release, too. Why, you might have thought these two would have better things to do than go out on dates together - shouldn't they be busy arranging paper-thin stunts to get their names in the paper to try and promote their respective releases instead?

The trouble is, even the thought of Aspin Merrymeade and the other Jade going out to stand in front of cameras for an evening isn't going to convince observers that this is a story. Gordon, call on your powers: can you make this an exciting gossip story - perhaps by working in a glittery party with a genuine celebrity?

ASTON MERRYGOLD snubbed CALVIN HARRIS's album launch party to take JADE EWEN out for dinner.

Other famous people they weren't near at the time include Shirley Bassey, The Queen, and Kasabian.