Huck off, then: Mick Hucknall is a rich person

I'm not sure there's anyone alive for whom 'Katie Hopkins doesn't support Labour' isn't enough to shift their votes, but just in case:

Mick Hucknall has disendorsed Labour.

Mick's superb grasp and understanding of the 2015 political scene is demonstrated by his belief that you can somehow vote "for the coalition".

Cover sludge: recreating The Beatles

Here's a headline to chill the blood:

Mick Hucknall and Stereophonics to re-record first Beatles album

Obviously it's not just those two; War and Famine will be also be taking part in the project to complete the team.

It's apparently a project designed by Radio 2 to celebrate "the golden age of the album" - so Kelly Jones must be on board to remind us how far we've fallen since then.

The idea is that Please Please Me will be recreated in twelve hours, thereby proving... something. That musicians can still work at the pace The Beatles did, presumably. But it's actually going to take about three hours longer than the original did.

Unconfirmed at present are rumours that 6Music is going to try and recreate The Spaghetti Incident sessions over a similar period taken by Axl.

Mick Hucknall hailed for his contribution to radio

Congratulations to Mick Hucknall from the Frantic Elevators, who is picking up a prize:

Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall is to receive this year’s PPL Lifetime Achievement Award at The Radio Festival in Manchester.
[...]
Previous winners of the PPL Lifetime Achievement Award, which honours, recognises and celebrates those whose work and dedication has left an indelible mark on the music radio industry, include Sir Paul McCartney, Trevor Horn, Paul Weller, Gary Barlow and last year’s winner Ronnie Wood.

Wood was an interesting though controversial winner - his radio work has got a lot of praise, but he hadn't been working in the medium very long.

So, what is Mick Hucknall's contribution to music radio?

Um...

Has he actually presented or produced any radio programming? Radio Festival, what work has Mick done for music radio?

Clive Dickens, Chairman of the Radio Festival, said: “We are thrilled that Mick is being presented with the PPL Lifetime Achievement Award. He is a true legend of British music and has achieved monumental acclaim. He has had amazing success and has remained at the top of his profession and rarely off the radio for a remarkable 25 years.”

That makes it sound like his "indelible mark" consists of having had his records played by other people on the radio.

Isn't that a rather passive sort of "lifetime achievement"?

The Hucknall apology

This scattered itself round the internet yesterday, and I suspect accounted for a large portion of how unwell the entire world felt by the evening.

Mick Hucknall's public apology.

Now, there is much for Mick to apologise for. The cover of the Stars album, as a starter, screams the need for the sort of penitence only hitherto exhibited by the medieval saints. But it's not that which has him saying "sorry":

'I regret the philandering," says Mick Hucknall, a man who, by his own estimation, had sex with more than 3,000 women in a three-year stretch in the mid-80s. "In fact, can I issue a public apology through the Guardian? They know who they are and I'm truly sorry."

That's one of those 'sorry's that isn't really. Like "well, I'm sorry if my career earning thousands of pounds and allowing you to keep a roof over your head meant I missed the Christmas play at the school", it's much more about showing off about what you've done, and then trying to make yourself look better by 'regretting' it.

It's actually a shame that Hucknall had to drag up the thousands of presumably still traumatised women he claims to have left in his wake, as the glittering hook it provided the paper to hang the interview on obscured a lot more interesting things going on Rob Fitzpatrick's piece.

Essentially, if Hucknall hadn't made Simply Red records but done the other things he did, he'd probably be regarded warmly as one of the UK's foremost musical enthusiasts, winding a tale from Eric's, through Punk, and releasing and revitalising long-lost reggae tracks on his small label. It's Hucknall's curse that none of that ever really came through in his public face of soupy ballads and fairground lite jazz. It's broadly similar to what happened to Elton John, who still has much of the bloke who used to pop behind the counter in small London record shops to riffle the new releases trapped in the body of the bloke dripping out paeans to dead Princesses.

It's more healthy to reflect on that, than the supposed strike rate of one woman every eight hours.

The Faces choose a new Face

The Faces have decided to get back together for the Vintage Festival at Goodwood. Trouble is, Rod Stewart is too busy/too lazy/too afraid of the tax implications to get involved.

Never mind, because they've got a plan b.

Send for Mick Hucknall.

And you thought nothing would ever top Edward Scissorhand's secateurs-for-fingers as the most ill-conceived replacement operation in history, didn't you?

Speaking to the Guardian, Ronnie Wood, who went on to join the Rolling Stones, insisted that Hucknall was rock'n'roll enough to step into Rod Stewart's tartan stack heels. "His band aren't but he is. Mick's a big Faces fan and it comes out when he sings, it's a kind of relief for him because he can let loose. Mick's range is like Rod's vocal range was in the seventies."

It's interesting that Hucknall feels so trapped in his Simply Red day job. Since money isn't really a problem for him, why doesn't he just break free and do it?

Gordon in the morning: Steady, there

Gordon's a little excited this morning:

ASTON MERRYGOLD did somersaults and gave the girls a glimpse of his oiled six-pack performing at radio station Key 103's Jingle Ball in Manchester on Wednesday.

Deep breaths, Gordon, deep breaths.

In other Gordon news, Mick Hucknall is embarking on a long legal battle to stop his neighbour going onto his land. He could save his money by just putting loudspeakers round the boundary which play bits of his back catalogue?

Faces reunion: They come up with a way to make it worse

Ah, The Faces - back together again. That sounds like a bad idea. Without Rod Stewart? Blimey, that's quite risky.

Is there anything else you need to tell me about this, though?

Well?

Oh:

Former SIMPLY RED star MICK HUCKNALL is the frontrunner to replace ROD STEWART in reunited rock supergroup THE FACES

Good lord.

Apparently the band are worried that if they don't do it soon, one of them is going to die, and it would make a Faces reunion impossible.

So, let's get this straight: they're quite comfortable about not having Rod Stewart on board, and parachuting the muscial equivalent of Ben Elton into the front of the stage, because that's still 'the real thing', somehow, but if Ian McLagan, say, goes, it'll be too late?

Gordon in the morning: Old men fighting

Gordon Smart is studiously attempting to give relevancy to Oasis, by helping orchestrate a feud between Noel Gallagher and Mick Hucknall. No, really.

Yesterday, Gordon flagged up this from Hucknall:

When asked why he thought Noel was pushed off stage by a crazed fan in Canada in September, Mick spat: “Was that for making the North sound stupid?

“I love that HARRY ENFIELD sketch when KATHY BURKE comes back from a weekend in Manchester walking with a Liam gait and goes, ‘Fuckin’ sound. Bangin’. They’ve made a cliché out of presenting Northerners, especially Mancunians, like that.”

Today, Gordon has got Noel to reply in an open letter:

You still going? Wow.

The last time I heard of you, Fanta-pants, you were getting slung out of Knebworth for being shit and fat.

What you have to say about Manchester and its righteous natives is irrelevant as you are from Warrington

If Knebworth throw you out for being fat and shit, how come Robbie played there for more nights than you managed, Noel?

Given that Noel lives in London, you might wonder if his opinion on Mancunians is that relevant; especially since he seems incapable of telling the difference between Warrington (to the West, in Cheshire) and Denton, where Hucknall actually comes from (in the East, firmly in Greater Manchester). Even if Mick was a Warringtonian, it wouldn't matter anyway, given that his main gripe was that Oasis had made everyone from the North a laughing stock.

And Noel's letter actually seems to offer support for Mick's view that Oasis are little more than honking idiots.

None of this, though, really matters compared with the fawning of Gordon as he introduces Noel's words:

Gallagher's note impressed, Mick

BIZ Lord Noel sends Mick Hucknall an open letter in reply to his Madchester outburst
[...]
So today, in a spirit of fairness, allow me to present axe-Lord NOEL’s thoughts on Mick’s theory in an open letter to him.

But surely, Gordon, if you love Noel so much, a true servant would have quietly lost the letter rather than let his master make such a bally fool of himself?

Hucknall: "Beams? What beams?"

Mick Hucknall thinks that music in Britain is in a bit of a terrible state, truth be told, and he blames Simon Cowell. While taking no personal responsibility, of course:

"Our culture isn't supporting recorded music in the same way it did 10 years ago.

"The X Factor's done an incredible amount of damage. It's benefitted one or two individuals - like Slimy (Simon) Cowell - who've made a fortune, but I wonder how much the actual artistes will make or if anyone will know who they are in 10 years?

"It's great family entertainment for people who don't give a toss about the recording industry, but for us as artists it's very damaging."

Of course, endless 'Greatest Love Of All' compilations with I'd Give It All Up For You and Something Got Me Started, churning out every time we hit a gifting season, choking up the dumpbins of Woolworths and the aisles of Tescos - that wouldn't be a problem, would it?

Mick Hucknall learns to love Warners again

A rare piece of good news for the majors, as an errant son returns to the fold: Mick Hucknall has made his peace with Warners over his back catalogue.

He's been in a huff over who owns the tracks since 2000 - even, at one point, re-recording them - but now has agreed a fifty/fifty split on ownership with the label.

Mick's happy, Warners are happy. Everybody's happy.

We're now in for a glitzy, expensive Simply Red official best of campaign.

Okay, but still: Mick and Warners are happy.

Not Simply disbanded

Mick Hucknall has decided the world has had enough of Simply Red:

The 47-year-old said Stay, released last March, would be the group's final studio album, and they would disband after their tour in two years' time.

"I've kind of decided that the 25 years is going to be enough," Hucknall told the Gold radio network.

To be honest, Mick, most people thought that somewhere in the region of three years would have been enough, but at least we're all sort of on the same page now.

You've got to love the belief, though, that the world still has a couple of years interest in Simply Red left in it.

And it's not all good news - he's merely going to plough on as a solo artist. Which, judging by the way Hucknall ran the ship for the last couple of decades, might represent little more than a change in which part of Woolworths his albums are filed in.

If only he hadn't had a cause for after 11, as well

Apparently, Mick Hucknall used to have a clause in his old contract which meant he wouldn't have to work before 11am.

Presumably it took him until that time to finish doing his hair.