"Well, this ranch certainly impressed Suzy and Tim, but can it beat the cottage in the Lake District that Johnnie showed them?"

It feels like Neverland ranch is constantly at the centre of about to be sold stories - even when Jackson was still doing what I guess we can best understand as "sort-of-alive" it was repeatedly being refinanced or eyed as part of a possible firesale, but this time round there's a snooty statement from an auctioneer:

The estate agents have warned off fans hoping to get a glimpse inside the piece of Jackson history, telling the Wall Street Journal anyone wanting to view the property would be subject to "extensive prequalification".
"We're not going to be giving tours," said Suzanne Perkins of Sotheby's International Realty.

I'm not quite sure what the "extensive prequalification" will consist of, but suspect it's going to involve some sort of wallet weighing.

Jackson apparently refinances

No wonder the dollar's been plummeting today - it turns out US banks are still unable to tell the difference between a sweet deal and a leaky bucket full of mouse urine. Michael Jackson's lawyer claims that Fortress Investment Group, LLC has allowed him to refinance the loan on Neverland. God alone knows where they think the money will come from - twenty-fifth anniversary reissues of BAD?

Property tycoons promote themselves

We can understand the Daily Star running the story about Newcastle Businessmen plotting to buy Neverland and then rent it back to Jackson, but what explains other news outlets picking up the tale and running it like it's a genuine story?

Taking the Star's story at face value, the NME makes space to tell its readers:

Entrepreneurs [Liam] Collins and [David] Bone, who are based in Newcastle, are huge fans of Jackson, and told the Daily Star that they began earning their own fortunes by busking in London, copying his dance routines.

“We really want to see Jacko back on his feet,” Bone said. Collins added: “If it wasn’t for Michael’s music and his fantastic dance routines, it is possible that we wouldn’t be where we are today.”

Righto, then. They're Jackson fans who plan to charge him rent on a house, when they (presumably) would know that he hasn't set foot there since the whole child-fiddling business and the chances of him returning are slim. Believe this one, and I've got an unwanted mansion with an abandoned zoo to sell you, if you're interested.

"Well, Kirstie, the house is right but I was hoping for something more like a safari park than a zoo..."

Michael Jackson's beloved Neverland Ranch could soon be passing into ownership of a grown-up. Jacko owes £12.5million on the place, and unless he coughs up in the next few weeks, he'll become the highest-profile victim of the credit crunch. Lenders will stack his collection of Magazines About Chess outside the gates and start to auction the property.