Darkness at 3AM: Lesbians eat food - just like everyone else

Surely, a couple of years back, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson going into Somerfield would have been a story so slight it would have struggled to make the grade for a "spotted" item? Now, though, 3AM clears space for in-depth reportage:

Good old Linds... she seems more than happy to muck it along with the rest of us.

With the cream of the capital's shops to choose from she and girlfriend Sam Ronson ended up in Somerfield.

And, fair play to the American lovebirds, they seemed to love every minute of it!

They were buying snacks. Of course they'd nip into the nearest convenience store. Even spray-tan millionaires aren't going to drive to Selfridges to buy a box of cereal, are they?

Linds was positively beaming as she handpicked her Coco Pops and Fanta, even swiping them through at a self-service till for the full experience.

She handpicked her CocoPops? Or did she just pick up a box from the front of the shelf?

Isn't it wonderful being normal? We can just imagine her gushing to Sam about all the fabulous bargains.

It is normal, you're right, 3AMies. Normal. As in "an everyday bloody occurrence of no consequence whatsoever, even if you list the purchased items". Normal. Even if you "imagine" a conversation where Lohan talks to Samantha Ronson about the price of breakfast cereal.

Lohan behold

Time, once again, to turn our attention to the happy world of the Lohans, where Lindsay Lohan's dating of Samantha Ronson has now brought the Kaiser Chiefs just one degree of separation shy of getting a spot on E! Entertainment Television.

Lohan's father, though - who seems to be offering TV networks a chance to pay for him to slag off his daughter - is incensed that Samantha Ronson is making herself famous by kissing his daughter. Though, to be fair, even if that is her motivation, surely that still puts her one moral notch above a man who makes himself famous by verbally bitch-slapping his daughter.

Still, Lindsay can take this no more - and let's be generous and not assume that the "this" isn't "the spotlight being on someone else for a moment" in this case, and lambasts her father's decision to air what remains of the family's dirty laundry in public:

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face -- that's what I have believed my whole life. Don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world.

The effect of this high-minded appeal to talk face-to-face and not, via advertising-supported proxies, over each other's heads to the court of public opinion is only slightly diminished by being published on Lohan's MySpace blog.