IPOD REACHES HIGH-WATER MARK: There always comes a point where something culty reaches the point where it ceases to be culty anymore: it moves to BBC One, or Jennifer Ellison somehow gets connected with it, or - as is the case with the iPod - Playboy notices and turns up, smoothing down its combover, sucking in its stomach and trying to show that, ey, it's hip too, like Fonzie. So it is that playboy.com are now offering iPod optimised cheeseporn. It's the first step towards becoming just another toaster.

(Actually, second: the U2 special edition was probably the first.)

IS (NOT WAS): It's not quite a comeback, as they never quite issued a break-up statement, but Was Not Was are working together again: not just for the best of album, but a set of new material as well.

OTHER CHARITIES ARE AVAILABLE: It must be a bit grim if you're involved in trying to fundraise for a non-tsunami charity right now. Hope of the States have done something to cheer up the Motor Neurone Disease Association, by donating an unreleased track to the cause after one of their fans planned to do a cycle ride.

GOTTA LOVELY BODY: Apparently, readers of Heat have decided that Will Young has got the best body of all the celebrities. Will's response was to look shifty and deny he even had a shed, "and besides the smell is drains."

SALES? RETURNS: Joining in the gloomy feelings about Christmas sales will be Duran Duran and anessa Carlton, whose latest albums haven't really done very well.

While tickets to see the Duranies are being snapped up like there was going to be free cake and ice-cream, it's clear that what people want are the old hits rather than the new stuff - so far, Astronaut has managed to sell just 162,290 copies in the US.

More amusingly, Vanessa Carlton seems to be discovering just how unlikeable she came across while her first album was going platinum: Harmonium has barely scraped past the 100,000 mark, and that seems to have eaten through any impetus it might have had.

THOSE WHO DON'T LEARN FROM HISTORY...: Remember Passengers? You will if you've ever set foot in a second hand record shop, most of which have so many copies of the U2/Pavarotti "experiment" visitors are invited to grab handfulls of them - an offer few take up. Well, since Bono seems incapable of admitting when he's made a mistake, U2 are going to record with Pavarotti again.

Speaking from behind sunglasses, Bono said "Do you get it? He's a classical singer, and we're a rock band. Isn't that astonishing what we're doing there... classical music hooked up with rock music. We're just amazing... it's breaking down pre-conceptions..." shortly before accepting cease and desist letters from William Orbit, Malcolm McClaren, the bloke who did Tubby The Tuba and Mark Stewart,

A FURTHER LITTER FROM KITTENS: Former pop-star Natasha Hamilton out of Atomic Kitten (yes you do remember: they produced Bejam versions of mighty songs) has had a boy, adding Harry to go alongside the Josh she'd already made. The other ex-Kittens were said to be "thrilled" by the news, and certainly didn't mutter under their breath about how that's scuppered the reunion plans and how they could all be playing Bristol Rockefellas if she'd learned how to keep her bloody diaphragm in. Not at all.

PUT BECK: The process of creating a not-too-wacky-for-mainstream album isn't an easy one, which has lead Beck to delay his new album until the spring-end of March. It's believed part of the problem is that he's having difficulty persuading Jack White to leave his studio.

LET'S HOPE BOY GEORGE IS BUSY: Amongst the many dozens of musical responses to the tsunami, Donewaiting are organising a benefit in Columbus Ohio; if you're in the area and can offer help, they'd like you to get in touch.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY: What could be more unpleasant than taking part in the forty million dollar schmoozefest that is the Bush inauguration? How about playibng the RIAA party at the Bush inauguration? Well done, Three Doors Down. Apart from getting sponsorship from Kitten Drowners, Inc., you probably couldn't have come up with a more unpleasant gig.

FREE TIM BURGESS LOVE: There's the first new Charlatans stuff this year available now, and it's available for free: you can download Alles Klar (German for 'Alice and Claire') from their website. No pictures of Tim Burgess in speedos, though, sadly.

BEST. SONG. EVER.: The Brits are going to offer a special best song of the quarter century prize to celebrate 25 years of themselves, and the shortlist is kind of interesting:

1. Heroes - David Bowie
2. We Are The Champions - Queen
3. Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush
4. Night Fever - Bee Gees
5. London Calling - The Clash
6. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
7. That's Entertainment - The Jam
8. I Don't Want To Talk About It - Rod Stewart
9. Look of Love - ABC
10. Golden Brown - The Stranglers
11. True - Spandau Ballet
12. Careless Whisper - George Michael
13. Holding Back The Years - Simply Red
14. Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel
15. Sacrifice - Elton John
16. Unfinished Sympathy - Massive Attack
17. Why - Annie Lennox
18. Fields of Gold - Sting
19. Kiss From A Rose - Seal
20. Wonderwall - Oasis
21. Angels - Robbie Williams
22. Yellow - Coldplay
23. Babylon - David Gray
24. Leave Right Now - Will Young
25. Dry Your Eyes - The Streets

First of all, if the idea is to celebrate 25 years of the Brits, shouldn't this longlist have been the Best Single from each year of the awards? Or is this merely a tacit acceptance that the Brit awards seldom reward the best single of the year?

Secondly: does anyone actually know how Annie Lennox's Why goes? We assume the panel who drew up this list at Radio 2 stuck Annie on as a joke, to take the piss out of the way the Brits would make her Best Female Singer even in years when she didn't leave the house other than to pick up a Sporting Life and a bottle of gold top on a Saturday.

Even Will Young must be wondering what he's doing there, and it's puzzling that the Elton and Rod songs on the list aren't their best singles. Having said that, it's nice to see a couple of actually memorable songs you might not have expected appearing: Love Will..., Wuthering, and most unexpected of all, The Look of Love - thankfully untainted by its long period being used as Gary Davies' lunchtime show bed.

We fear, though, it's going to be Williams, isn't it?

NOW, THAT WOULD BE A STABLE: It's unlikely to ever happen, but Matthew Knowles has made an overture towards managing Britney Spears. Matthew, who spent the whole of 2004 pissing away his daughter Beyonce's position as The True Queen of Pop through a mixture of over-exposure, poorly considered sponsorship deals and really shabby quality control, has offered to bring his magic to Britney's career.

I'M NO GARBO: Agnetha Faltskog, out of Abba, has denied she's a Garbo-esque recluse in a TV interview with the Swedish channel TV4. Besides denying she was anything like Garbo, she also took the opportunity to deny she was also living like Gabbo, the vent doll who stole Krusty's audience.

THERE ARE SECRETS AND THERE ARE SECRETS: We're curious as to exactly how secret the ceremony at which Madonna and Guy Richie renewed their vows could have been if the Sun knows about it. We're also not entirely clear what the point of renewing your vows in secret would be, anyway: "we're going to make a public affirmation of our love and commitment, only we're not going to let anyone know."

Reports say the wedding was "Kabbalah-based", which is presumably why Guy spent 100 grand on a ring. Large cash payments for apparently significant items which don't really mean anything being a major part of the Kabbalah.

ROSS OFF-COLOUR: Poor Mac cosmetics; having managed to make a partnership with Liza Minnelli work (something none of her husbands have managed), they must have thought they'd got the knack of handy tricky celebrity slap-on endorsements. Then they cut a deal with Diana Ross. Everything seemed to be going so well - acres of publicity planned, the promo slots booked, the slap being glugged into poncey containers - when Diana decided she didn't like the names chosen for the range, and so pulled out the deal. Apparently, they're hoping she'll come back to kiss and make-up.

LEE RYAN AND MATT JAY HAVE GOT ENGAGED: Though, sadly, not to each other. Him out of Blue and him out of Busted have got engaged with Lee managing to put aside worries about dying elephants for long enough to ask Stefanie Martinez; she accepted; and Matt is to be made an honest man of by Emma Griffiths, who does things for MTV, apparently. A million girls squealed "Noooo" when they heard about Matt; a million girls said "but I thought he was gay?" when they were told about Lee.

TAIL ATTEMPTS TO WAG DOG: According to friends, sources, chums or close pals, Kevin Fadingstar has told Britney she can't buy any more clothes because he's sick of their home being full of pretty-though-useless things which do nothing but burn their way through Brit's fortune and take up valuable space. If we were you, Kevin, we wouldn't suggest Britney starts dumping stuff which fits that description...

CH-CH-CHANGES: There's nothing that unexpected in Jennifer Lopez's "fame changed me" confession:

"It was all a bit mad. For a girl like me, wearing gorgeous clothes and having all this attention was amazing. It was like being a princess.

"But it didn't take me long to realise that that sort of fame can be scary. The more the circus builds up around you, the more you start to lose all those intentions that get you there in the first place.

"I was always about being a good performer and working hard, doing movies, making music, but that started to get lost in all that crazy stuff."

... but doesn't this directly contradict the lyric of Jenny From The Block? Can purchasers claim a refund?

AN OFFER YOU SO COULD REFUSE: We wonder if the people who made the winning sixty grand-plus bids in an auction to do yoga with Sting knew exactly what they were bidding on? We can't decide if they didn't know it was tantra without the sex, or if they didn't know it was yoga with the Sting.

MORE SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: If you're sitting about with not much to do this Bank Holiday, you could take a couple of moments to cast a vote in the Best Music Blog category at the BOB Awards. Far be it from us to suggest who you should vote for, but have we told you how good you're looking today? And how much we love your shoes?

I BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT'S KNOWN AS A "REALITY CHECK", ISN'T IT?: Apparently, Daniel Bedingfield feels like a "fat brother basking in his sister's glory". It must be hard being lapped by a more talented sibling - perhaps he could ask the other Dan, Ms Minogue, how she coped. On the other hand, at least Danni never gets quite as creepy as Daniel does:

"Let's face it, my sister is stunning looking and now I look like the fat brother trying to get in on the act."

All a little bit too Nat & Georgia, isn't it?

WE'D RECOMMEND THE AQUARIUM INSTEAD: The city of Boston has a new tourist attraction to go alongside Cheers, and the fake Cheers: They've put Fishman from Phish's dress on display. Apparently it's made from cassette tapes featuring his favourite artists. It's been a very long Christmas period, hasn't it?

Curiously, this is how Yahoo News describes the band:

Phish, which has broken up, experimented with myriad musical genres. The band's legions of dedicated fans made them a younger version of The Grateful Dead.

VALETE 2004: A full list of obituaries from 2004:
Julian Aberbach, publisher
"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott, ex-Pantera and Damageplan
Gene Allison, gospel and r&b artist
Bill Asp, label owner and club promoter
Estelle Axton, co-founder of Stax records
Harry Babbitt, big band vocalist and Woody Woodpecker's laugh
John Balance, Coil et al
Ernie Ball, guitar string millionaire
Jan Berry, as in "... and Dean"
Alf Bicknell, Beatles Chauffeur
Dave Blood, Dead Milkmen bassist
Laura Branigan, singer
Johnny Bristol, singer and Motown producer
Barry Brown, reggae artist
Cornelius Bumpus, Doobie Brothers saxophonist
Kenny Buttery, Neil Young drummer
John Cester, father of the brothers from Jet
Ray Charles, blues legend
Brian Clough, football manager who toyed with the odd novelty single
John 'Buddy' Connor, bluesman
Kevin Coyne, singer-songwriter
Billy Davis, Motown songwriter and producer
John R T Davis, jazz restorer
Skeeter Davis, Grand Ole Opry regular
Sacha Distel, French chansoner
Clement 'Coxsone' Dodd - reggae producer and label owner
Al Dvorin, "Elvis has left the building"
Fred Ebb, lyricist
Brenda Fassie, South African singer
Jerry Goldsmith, film composer
Stanley M Gortikov, RIAA sponsor of Parental Advisory labels
Les Gray, Mud singer
Hunter Hancock, rock and roll era dj
Rob Heaton, New Model Army
Jake Hess, gospel singer
JJ Jackson, pioneering MTV VJ
Rick James, Rick James, damnit
Arthur 'Killer' Kane, New York Dolls bassist
Graeme Kelling, Deacon Blue guitarist
Barney Kessel, jazz guitarist
Terry Knight, Grand Funk Railroad manager
James Lawrence, Hope of The States guitarist
Tushar Makwana, Heart FM dj
Terry Melcher, Beach Boys producer
Lizzie Mercier Descloux, No-wave inspiration
John McGeoch, Magazine and Banshees bassist
Eamonn McGirr, endurance singer
Sean McGrath, Saves The Day bassist
Dennis Miles, Body Count Guitarist
Arnold 'Gatemouth' Moore, bluesman
Artie Mogull, record industry figure
Ol' Dirty Bastard, Wu-Tang man
Olive Osmond, matriarch of the Osmond family
Bruce Palmer Buffalo Springfield bassist
John Peel, Radio One mainstay
Robert Quine, Voidoids guitarist
Eugene Raskin, folk musician
Johnny Ramone, Ramone
Burt Reid, Crown Heights Affair sax player
E Rodney Jones, early blues dj
Adan Sanchez, Ballader and son of Chalino Sanchez
Ed Sciaky, Philadelphia dj
Son Seals, bluesman
Ben Shabalala, Ladysmith Black Mambazo vocalist
Artie Shaw, jazz band leader
Greg Shaw, journalist and label owner
Edmund Sylvers, The Sylvers singer
Doris Troy, gospel singer and co-writer of Just One Look
Randy Vanwarmer, singer-songwriter
Lacy Van Zant, father of the Van Zants from Lynyrd Skynyrd and .38 Special
Carl Wayne, Move frontman and radio dj
John Whitehead, as in "McFadden and.."
Syreeta Wright, as in "Billy Preston and..."

DJOBIT: Goth DJ Chris Mason, who was attacked in Watford's Market Street early on Christmas Day, died from his injuries on New Year's Eve. Chris - who was a dj at Batastrophy in Watford - had hit his head on a brick wall after an unknown man punched him in the face.

COULD THEY JUST NOT GIVE SOME OF THEIR PRE-TAX EARNINGS?: Band Aid really is replaying itself in full, isn't it? We've had the re-recording; then the announcement of the re-run of USA For Africa. Now, we're having a recreation of the slew of b-string celebs gathering together to wail away at the first hint of trouble. So it is, we give you Ferry Aid Mk II: Cliff Richard and Boy George trilling for the tsunami victims.

Unbelievably, the song they're singing, Grief Never Grows Old isn't even a specially written ditty: it's something Mike Read wrote ages ago but thought was too gloomy to ever use. How wonderful that the deaths of a hundred thousand people have given this work an opportunity to see the light of day.

THIS SOUNDS SO INEVITABLE, IT SURELY CAN'T BE TRUE?: We're obviously hoping that there really is an album project uniting Franz Ferdinand and Sparks, of course we are. But surely it can't be anything more to it than a thing to fill a quiet Friday entertainment page, can there?

IS THIS PUNK ENDORSING BUSH, OR BUSH ENDORSING PUNK?: As if Iraq wasn't an awful enough place, the choice of The Vandals as band to play in the New Year for American squadies caught in Rumsfeld's "it's nothing like Vietnam" experience must have just been adding confusing insult to ever present risk of fatal injury. Apparently the band have done eight gigs for soldiers across the middle east.

ROCK SICK LIST: Masters of Reality singer and ghost member of Queens of the Stone Age Chris Goss spent Christmas in a California hospital. Goss suffered some serious bad infection and lapsed in and out of consciousness for much of the festive period. Sprouts are not believed to have been involved.

PETE PULLS IT OFF: It's probably only fair to record that Pete Doherty managed to arrive at, and play, all four new year gigs, blessing the peoples of Birmingham, Stoke, Oldham and Manchester.