YOU SAY YOU WANNA REVOLUTION... OR MAYBE SOME CARAMACS AND A BAG OF WHEAT CRUNCHIES

Yoko Ono will be delighted - having spent the last twenty years single handedly trying to wipe out any lingering credibility that may have attached itself to John Lennon (John Lennon baby blankies, anybody?), she's finally got some serious help. The The FBI have released their report on him in which they conclude he wasn't much of a threat to life, liberty and the American way:

A file on the former Beatle reveals he was closely watched in the US shortly before the Republican National Convention in 1972.

He wanted to extend his travel visa so he could "engage in disruptive activities surrounding RNC", an agent reportedly claimed.

But an informant told the bureau that although Lennon "appears to be radically orientated" he did not give the impression of being a true revolutionist, "since he is constantly under the influence of narcotics".

Added to which, of course, he was never going to endanger his lovely white piano by encouraging the seizure of private property.

music john lennon the beatles beatles fbi

IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A SHIRT, I WON'T SAY 'POOPHOLE'

Just how successful is John Lydon's estate agent's shop anyway? Not only does he seem desperate to turn a fee for appearing on any old tossy TV show that's offered to him, but now he's refusing to talk unless someone gives him a soccer shirt. Of course, you can't eat a place in history, but it's a shame to see one being pissed away, nevertheless.

Altogether now:

#I am a guest panel-ist
I'm on the celeb b-list
I know what I want
and I know how to get it
will drop pants for food
on ITV
cause I wanna be in
hospitality#

music sex pistols john lydon johnny rotten

WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER?

Let's hope Paul Rodgers isn't getting too cosy at the front of Queen, as Brian May appears to be lining up someone to replace him, at least on record. Yes, May has found some tapes of Freddie Mercury, and, like a wartime grandmother, he plans to make something from the unpromising ingredients:

"There are still some things in the vaults with Freddie messing about on vocals which fans won't have heard. There are bits of him tinkering around, which could be used.”

He told the Daily Star: "I expect they will get released at some point because I am sure people will want to hear them".

or, more honestly, "I am sure there are people who will be prepared to pay money for them."

music queen brian may freddie mercury

PAUL WELLER REMEMBERS WHAT PEOPLE LIKED HIM FOR

Scientists are alarmed by the discovery of a melting in the permafrost of Paul Weller's heart, for the first time in living memory. His icy wasteland has warmed up to a point where he's started to gingerly play, slightly, in the Jam style again:

"There's so many young bands, in the U.K. at least, where you catch all the references to the Jam," Weller says. "So if anyone's gonna nick a bit, I'm gonna do it! It's a little cheeky reference that puts a smile on my face."

Weller Warming scientists say that it's too early to say if this melting is permanent, but warn unless something is done, the situation could rapidly deteriorate:

"It sounds an almost attractive prospect - cold, damp solo material slowly getting warmer, the odd cover of A Town Called Malice," said one; "However, as the Weller climate becomes more temperate towards back catalogue, there's a real risk that he'll start putting accordians on records again. It really is a serious threat to us all."

music paul weller the jam style council

THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE

Nobody would stand up for DMX using his fist instead of his wits - even although, clearly, his hands are much bigger, but if even someone was cruising towards being pulped by a rapper, it would be Berliner Oliver Osterode. (He comes from Berlin, he's not been recently redesigned. Well, actually, he has, come to think of it):

"I wanted to go to the bathroom and met DMX,” Osterode told German newspaper BZ. “I told him that I think he's cool, but Lil’ Jon is better. Then he freaked out. He slapped me in the face, and then his bodyguards attacked us."

Osterode suffered a swollen eye, bruised ribs and other lacerations, while Schmidt reportedly suffered bruises to his abdomen.

Yes, an over-reaction to the tenfold, but even so: if you've got your penis in your hand and someone comes up to you to tell you that they much prefer someone else... well, you can imagine that going down quite badly.

music dmx

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: Another NME makeover

There's an interesting story in the current Private Eye, of the Mean Fiddler's Melvin Benn selling two FA Cup final tickets to Mendip Council Environmental Officer Chris Malcolmson. Benn, of course, is the name on the Glastonbury Festival licence; Malcolmson is the man who reports to the council on the suitability of the Glasto licence application. The Eye raises it brow that Benn - apparently - sold the tickets for face value when they could have been worth two grand, suggesting this is rather a cosy arrangement. But the paper must have its story wrong - after all, doesn't Glastonbury look askance on people reselling its tickets - at face value or not - insisting that anyone who cannot attend return the tickets to them? In fact, in May this year, Benn was quoted in the Independent on Sunday bemoaning his inability to bring criminal proceedings against people who sold on Glastonbury tickets: " I have no ability to take action against touts. It [touting] is rank profiteering and hugely disappointing that it is not against the law." Hugely unlikely, then, that Benn would be pimping someone else's tickets, face value or not, to a third party.

There is, of course, one sort of ticket which is illegal to sell in the UK: tickets for football matches, a law brought in as an anti-hooliganism measure, and a model for the sort Benn would like to have at his disposal for music touts. We're sure he'd be first to turn in anyone selling FA Cup tickets to his local police station.

Conor McNicholas this week picked up his pen and his Basildon Bond to send a letter to the MediaGuardian to explain part of the rationale behind this season's revamp of the NME: the idea is to try and build writers to rival those names that make old guys go weak at the tearducts by giving more prominence to the current crop of writers - so everybody gets a photo-byline now, not just in the week when it;s buggins turn to edit Angst; and the font showing who reviewed what has been boosted a couple of point sizes and emboldened. Having said that, though, the new look seems to be bigger on pictures rather than words.

This reworking finally slews off anything that remains of the NME of the 80s - every redesign of the last five years (and there have been quite a few) has left behind some taste of the paper during the Danny Kelly era, but this week, the only real thing that links to the classic design is that logo. Having said which, a more useful role for the paper's heritage has been found in the shape of a "tales from the NME archive" - this week, it's the Stone Roses at Spike Island, which is an oven that has been revisited many times before, and it'll be interesting to see what they start selecting once the obvious choices have run out - it could just be a boring older brother chanting "Pistols at the 100 club/Oasis at Knebworth"; but there's potential for it to be more like an interesting uncle. We'd like to see a re-run of Steven Wells going to Sellafield, but we suspect that's unlikely to happen.

Flicking through the magazine, we were convinced that the pages were bigger than they had been before - even getting down to measuring them against last week's issue; it took a while before it hit us what we were experiencing: the new NME bears a more than uncanny resemblance to the glossy Melody Maker, and being tabloid rather than A4, that was why it seemed larger. (Actually, the album reviews also have something of the Observer Music Magazine about them.)

Having made a decision to go with pictures, at least the magazine has the images to back it up with inside - The Big Picture has become Shots, with a slew of this-week photos; the main image appears to be of Kanye West showing Franz Ferdinand how to make their hands into a vagina shape (apparently this is "throwing a diamond", or making the logo of Roc-a-fella; we suspect you probably knew that). In fact, with so many great photos inside, it's curious that the cover of this year zero issue is a bit poor - the Killers all looking a bit ropey. Brandon looks less like his charming self than a really low-rent Brian Molko lookalike; surely there must have been a better picture? Mercifully, the bulk of page one is taken up with a CD; the sort of CD which the paper has a reputation for effortlessly compiling (Arctic Monkeys, BRMC, Boy Kill Boy, Arcade Fire, and a taping of that Reading Rakes/Bloc Party/Maximo Park/erm, Towers of London supergroup).

Peter Robinson is still there, taking on Rick Parfitt. Parfitt doesn't like Pete Doherty - "he's something beginning with 'P'" he growls. But... erm... Mr. Parfitt, aren't you something beginning with P, too?

Radar has been beefed up considerably: two bands (Five O'Clock Heroes and panda-eyed sweetthrobs Louis XIV); demo reviews (The Puzzle's Let The Sun Shine "has a harmonica"; a column about new music in "your town" (assuming you live in the town featured, which is Brighton this week, which means The Pipettes); something called The Buzz, which we're keeping an open mind on for now, and extra space for live reviews of new bands which used to get poked in the corner of the main review pages (My Latest Novel at the Camden Barfly - "Arcade Fire without the fire"). This is actually one of the most positive things we've seen come out of the NME in ages, and it throws into relief how poor the coverage of new stuff had become. It might free the paper from the diminishing number of keynote bands it was having to rotate over the weeks by building up a few more groups. To knock 'em down, of course.

There's an interview with Noodle from Gorillaz, which is only slightly ruined by the fact that, as a person, she's a two-dimensional cartoon, and as a character, has a couple less dimensions than that. The questions are pretty sharp, though: "You're Japanese, called Noodle and you're into martial arts. Do you, perhaps have a French friend called Fromage who likes eating snails?"

reviews
albums
various artists - help: a day in the life - "succeeds where Live8 failed", 10
the dead 60s - the dead 60s/space invader dub - "they never lose focus", 7
ladytron - witching hour - "rather makes one want to have sex", 7

tracks
totw - arctic monkeys - i bet you look good on the dancefloor - "pure, seething TEENERGY"
death cab for cutie - soul meets body - "like something from David Bowie's Labyrinth soundtrack"
ms dynamite - judgement day - "actually reallty great"

live
coldplay - madison square garden - "looking at all these placid faces, is it really such a bad thing?"
mystery jets - london ICA - "defeaning enough to rattle the Palace crockery"

There's a new feature at the back, The Recommender, where a pop star gets their PA to pull together a list of cool stuff - Paul Smith, from Maximo Park, namechecks Life Without Buildings (who were actually bloody good - although we suspect their golden moment, The Lean-To, isn't going to be available on iTunes).

In a rather astonishing coup for the advertising sales department, they've managed to persuade Virgin Digital Downloads to sponsor the tracks pages, while HMV Digital Downloads has sponsored the free CD. There's probably a message about the plurality of voices or something there.

The small ads are back - although it's not 'send a letter to box number x' style any more, it's phone dating type stuff; oddly, none of the people searching for their soul mates through the music paper mention a single band they might like. Perhaps they're all Andrew WK fans?

So, all in all, then, it's not the most radical redesign of a music paper, and the changes seem to be more about a growing confidence about what the NME is doing and - and this has been lacking for a while - a firmer sense of what it stands for. We're sorry to see the ending of the two letters from America, but delighted Queens of Noize have been sent elsewhere. We'll give it a couple of weeks to see which of the changes take, but at least we're not looking forward to next week with a sense of dread.

music music nme private eye glastonbury brandon flowers the killers gorillaz status quo
franz ferdinand kanye west maximo park arctic monkeys coldplay

MUMBA CHARGES DROPPED

Good news for Samantha Mumba: she had been in danger of losing her driving licence, but today had the charges against her struck out when she belatedly provided evidence that she had a licence and insurance. And paid the outstanding tax on her car.

The judge was happy to strike out the charges as she'd proved that she was insured, but still insisted she didn't believe that Mumba was ever a pop star.

music movies samantha mumba

MOZZER NOT AMUSED BY DOHERTY DOINGS

It's all fun and games until somebody loses a Burberry contract: Morrissey isn't finding the Doherty drugs story amusing:

"I'm not sure he can cope. There's a desperation to him. I sense he's on thin ice.

"It's all very giggle-worthy for NME to report two hours after a gig that he's in a crack house in Glasgow but I don't find that amusing."

Meanwhile, Chanel and Burberry have decided they're not amused by it, either, and decided to end their connections with Kate Moss. Burberry, of course, will be especially worried about the effect on their business of being associated with someone taking cocaine - coke's image as the "champagne drug" will really play badly amongst the Elizabeth Duke set who choose to wrap themselves in their company's products, which has the look and feel of the sort of sticky-backed plastic we used to use on worksurfaces in the 70s.

music morrissey pete doherty kate moss burberry

SOULOBIT: Willie Hutch

The death has been announced of Willie Hutch, Motown singer-songwriter.

Born in LA and raised in Sallas, Hutch cut his first single in the early sixties; he released an album in 1964 but never really seized the public imagination as a singer. His big break came in 1970 when Hal Davis, impressed with his work writing and producing for other bands, called him to deliver some words in a hurry for a tune he'd come up with. Hutch turned around a lyric overnight, and the next day at 8 am the Jackson 5 took the song, I'll Be There, into the studio. Berry Gordy was so impressed with this - and his arrangements for Never Can Say Goodbye - that he gave him a permanent role at Motown.

His reputation secured, Hutch went on to work with all the big names on the label, producing Smokey Robinson's first solo album. Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, the Four Tops and The Fifth Dimension all recorded his songs; he also scored the soundtrack for Pam Grier's Foxy Brown movie.

Although his production work overshadowed his singing career, Hutch did amass a number of albums of his own over the year, releasing two in the nineties.

music obit obituary wille hutch

LIFE AFTER POP

If you couldn't quite cope with Roger Daltrey opening up a trout fishing field, you might want to move on to the next post. Because the afterlife of musicians has just thrown up a real oddity: Small Faces drummer Kenney Jones is going into busines with a string of polo resorts across the globe.

They aren't calling them Itchycoo Parks, sadly.

music small faces kenney jones polo

MORE UNHEARD NIRVANA STUFF

Surely there can't be much more unreleased Nirvana stuff languishing about in tape bins, waiting for Courtney to need to pay off a lawyer again before it sees the light of day? Somehow, she's come up with three brand-new pieces for a rarities compilation due just in time for Christmas. But that's got to be it, now, surely? Unless there's some undiscovered answerphone messages knocking about.

music nirvana kurt cobain courtney love

RIAA MAKE LAND GRAB

As the US prepares to get geared up for Digital Audio Broadcasting, the RIAA is attempting to use the confusion and noise around the format to call for Congress to insist on broadcasters being forced to copy-protect their output:

The FCC is considering final adoption of a digital radio standard that is a proprietary technology developed by a private company, iBiquity. While the recording industry is excited about the rollout of digital radio (“HD Radio”) as a new way for fans to listen to music, it is concerned that the iBiquity standard does not protect the music even though safeguards could easily be implemented without unsettling consumers’ expectations of how they listen to radio. Without such content protection, users could redistribute and copy recordings. The result could be widespread piracy, similar to or greater than that from illicit file sharing on peer-to-peer systems, especially given the ubiquity of radios and the use of radios by all parts of the American public.

As Goodwin's Law discusses, the RIAA is seizing on the choice to market DAB as HD Radio in the US. This choice was supposed to tempt consumers into seeing DAB as being a step up in the way HD TV is an improvement over standard television; the RIAA is hinting that it means better-than-CD quality (which, of course, it doesn't).

More alarmingly, the RIAA is trying to suggest that hobbling music on the radio won't actually change the way people relate to their radio. But of course, right now, you're free to tape shows to listen to later - something the RIAA is trying to stop now.

The RIAA is keen to build up the panic:

Automatically copy particular recordings of the user’s choice, thereby transforming a passive listening experience into a personal music library often without even listening to the original broadcast;

... although quite why people would want to store music in a personal library and not listen to it seems to have dropped off the leaflet. And how does that harm the music industry anyway? Are they saying that people would buy records without knowing what they'd sound like instead?

The RIAA warn of the dire consequences:

If HD Radio does not include content protection, economic damage may be severe:

Note the use of "may"...

Record companies, artists, songwriters and music publishers will suffer from a decline in sales;

... which has now become a "will" - they've not been able to demonstrate that internet sharing does force out sales so far, so it's interesting they seem to have found some evidence now. Perhaps they might share it with us?

Broadcasters and retailers will lose the opportunity to provide “buy buttons” to satisfy impulse purchases;

Why? Why would not having copy protection remove the ability to put "buy buttons" on anything?

Broadcasters will experience a decline in audience, and therefore advertising revenue, as listeners substitute their free music library for radio

Aha! It's not the music industry they're worried about, it's the poor radio industry they're thinking of. What does puzzle us, though, is if digital radio is covered with buy buttons, and people build up a legitimate music library, why won't that cause a decline in radio audience? How come only 'free' music would cause that to happen?

Advertisers will find diminishing returns from advertising on radio;

Well, if it's going to harm advertising...

On-demand download music services such as iTunes and Rhapsody will suffer. Why pay 99 cents for something you can get for free?

... but haven't the music industry spent the last couple of years suggesting that the existence of legal services is part of the solution to illegal filesharing? So... surely the existence of people paying 99 cents for things they can get for free already suggests that it's not really a concern.

music radio DAB hd radio riaa

WANTED ON VOYAGE

They're finishing up this month supporting Babyshambles, assuming Doherty turns up, but after that: The Paddingtons are spending October headlining:

01 London Mean Fiddler
02 Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms
03 Bristol Fleece & Firkin
04 Cambridge Junction
05 Nottingham Rescue Rooms
07 Belfast Speakeasy
08 Dublin Whelans
09 Edinburgh Venue
10 Aberdeen The Tunnels
11 Glasgow Garage
12 Manchester Hop & Grape
14 Liverpool Academy 2
15 Newcastle Global
16 Northampton Roadmender
17 Oxford Zodiac
19 Hull The Welly
20 Leeds Cockpit

music paddingtons babyshambles

CLIFF FACES FUTURE

Despite stories which appeared in the ever-reliable Daily Mail earlier in the week, Cliff Richard isn't thinking of giving up music. The Mail announced Cliff - real name The Peter Pan of Pop - had taken umbrage at never hearing his songs on the radio, and was going to retire to his luxury homes and sulk:

"I just don't want to go to all the effort of putting something together if people won't even give it a chance," he said, according to the newspaper.

No such luck, says his promotions manager Lisa Davis:

"Cliff was having a pop at radio stations that don't play him, but there are plenty that do support him," she said. "He was A-listed at Radio 2 for five weeks in May."

So, that Christmas hook-up with G4, covering Miss You Nights is going ahead as planned. It's hard to believe that people might leap to the conclusion that Cliff is releasing any old tosh without listening to it first, isn't it?

music cliff richard g4

PRESUMABLY "... AS A REALLY OLD MAN"

Surely, however much Mick Jagger wants to play Vaclav Havel in a film, the role is going to be a bit beyond him: Jagger is way too old to play Havel when he was doing the sort of stuff that would make a good movie?

music mick jagger vaclav havel

AND BREATHE...

On first listen, the new Kate Bush single doesn't sound like she's been wasting the last umpty-tump years. It's like she's never been away.

(If you want to hear it, wait until Gideon Coe's show finishes at 1.00, go to the listen again option on the 6Music website; he played it an hour and twenty six minutes in.)

music kate bush

MET POLICE TO INVESTIGATE MOSS

We're still tossing a coin to come up with our line on the announcement that Scotland Yard is going to investigate the Kate Moss drugs shocka - part of us is keen for the Met to spend their time doing anything that doesn't involve shooting people more-or-less at random and then concocting lies about why they did it; on the other hand, at a time when we're constantly told we're just a slither away from London and everyone in it being fed to a giant, three-headed terrorist dog, we would have hoped that the Met might have better things to do with its time than dance about to the tabloid's tunes.

Supermodel Kate Moss is to be investigated over claims she has taken cocaine, Scotland Yard has said.

Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur ordered an inquiry after newspapers alleged the model used illegal drugs.

It has not been confirmed whether police will interview Moss, who has refused to comment on the claims.

Now, we're especially interested into why Tarique Ghaffur has ordered this enquiry - if we remember correctly, the police have to receive a complaint from the public before they launch an investigation into any crime. So who's complained?

Wonder if they'll call Pete Doherty as a witness?

music kate moss pete doherty

MADONNA'S DECLINING POPULARITY HASTENED BY HER OWN ONE GOOD HAND

Spokesperson for all things culty Madonna got a chilly reception at the London premiere of Guy Ritchie's new film Lawks, Guv, He's Got A Shooter ("Revolver"). The pair didn't bother to acknowledge the crowd, as Madonna seemed to think she wasn't there to work:

The pop star said it was Ritchie's night and she enjoyed not having to work the red carpet. "This is fun for me. I get to dress up and show up," she said.

The audience, however, didn't think it was very much fun for them.

It's likely that Madonna might have been less positive when she got home, though, as in an interview, Ritchie suggested that his wife was an even worse actor than he was a director:

Asked why he didn't give Madonna a role in "Revolver," he replied: "Do you think they would let me get away with that? I did that last time, it didn't work."

music movies guy ritchie madonna

MEGAMAN: "BURST HIM"

The jury in So Solid Crew's Megaman trial has been told he ordered his friend, Carl Morgan, to shoot Colin Scarlett, by a witness hidden behind a screen and talking through a voice-distorting machine.

Both Megaman - under his name Dwayne Vincent - and Morgan deny murdering Scarlett in an Old Bailey trial. The case continues.

music megaman so soild crew murder

SUMMER POPS BUBBLE BURSTS

More misery for Liverpool City Council as it gears up for its culture year in 2008 - another one of its showpieces is in trouble, as losses at the annual bands-in-tents Summer Pops festival toddle past the million quid mark - GBP350,000 added this year, despite (or perhaps because of) a line-up including Brian Wilson, Will Young, Wet Wet Wet and, erm, Daniel Bedingfield. (It's perhaps an indication of how disorganised and sprawling the event has become that the Last Night of the Pops actually happened three days before the event finished.)

Now, councillors are suggesting that plans for the 2006 festival should be put on hold, at least until someone explains why so much council tax money is being burned through by the event:

Committee member Cllr Dave Hanratty, referring to the losses at the event, said: "At the end of the day, this is council taxpayers' money. If the losses over a number of years are accrued, it has been suggested it may add up to £1m.

In the casting about for someone to blame, Diana Ross finds herself in the firing line:

The deputy chairman, Labour's Cllr Steve Rotheram, has asked for details of losses on individual shows, adding "did Diana Ross break the bank?" - referring to the cost of bringing the diva to two concerts at this year's Summer Pops.

Which is quite a neat bit of politicking there - it wasn't that the event was poorly run, it was the greedy demands of a star which caused the cash to disappear. It's unlikely that Liverpool will be able to axe the event altogether - with the disappearance of so many of the key elements in its City of Culture bid, to lose the pops would place the town in a very awkward place indeed - but equally, the local press isn't going to let this one lie. After all, a million quid is a lot of money. They could have spent that money pulling down houses.

music diana ross liverpool summer pops

THE STROKES LEAK OUT

As often happens, new music wants to be free: MP3s of the new Strokes single have turned up online.

music the strokes downloads mp3

MINDY: I DONE MY BABY WRONG

Just when you thought Mindy McCready's telenovella life couldn't get any worse, she pops up in court to explain away her overdose: apparently she was pregnant:

By the end of June, she learned she was with child and that's when she took off to the Sunshine State. "I attempted to commit suicide after I found out," she told Judge Jeff Bivins, per the Nashville Tennessean. "I had just been through a horrible ordeal."

The baby was thrown into court as part of an attempt to get terms of McCready's bail relaxed. Jude Bivins refused, but McCready threw herself on the mercy of the court.

"If I can't travel more than 50 miles from home" she wailed "how can I be a guest on Oprah?"

Because this is America, the judge agreed to allow her to attend the show - even though what McCready realy needs is not to be parading her misery on TV right now.

There was also some trouble over her community service:

Bivins also ordered her to begin performing community service as agreed to under the terms of her 2004 plea bargain. McCready said she was under the impression she could give a benefit concert to satisfy the requirement, but Bivins said there was no such stiputation in her deal.

... presumably because a concert by her right now isn't going to be much of a boost for any community.

music mindy mcready oprah oprah winfrey

CHESNEY: "OOH, I'M BEARING UP"

Following the collapse of his fully press-released marriage, Kenny Chesney has rushed out to let his fans know that he'll be OK. Because we know you'll have been worried. He doesn't really expand on why the marriage is going to seek a fraud annulment, though:

"I hit everything so hard this year," Chesney said. "I had the biggest tour I've ever done, I had a record to finish that was real important to me, and, of course, I had something new in my personal life and I was trying to do that too. It really ended up being too much."

Well, we can see why ensuring the snare drum on track seven was tight would be more important than sorting out your marriage - which of us wouldn't, eh?

Chesney, meanwhile, is tired:

"I'm tired right now, but by next year, I'll be excited to get back to it. And it'll be about the music again, not about the sideshow."

Since he seems to think his marriage was a sideshow, the surprise is not that Zellweger is dumping him; it's that she isn't parading him through the streets with a sign round his neck. An unlfattering sign.

Still: hardly anyone outside the country circuit had a clue who he was this time last year. Now he's got a global cross-market profile. Not bad for a fradulent marriage.

music renee zellweger kenny chesney

INXS PICK THEIR NEW LEADER

What are the glittering prizes for J D Fortune, selected by INXS to take the role of singer in the revived band. INXS are, well, attempting to sound excited:

"J.D, you sing with passion, you're an amazing performer and you're great to 'watch," said INXS musician Tim Farriss.

It's not clear if the deal includes a date with Kylie Minogue, a sturdy belt and a financial makeover that includes having all his funds put virtually beyond use.

music inxs j d fortune

ROCK SICK LIST: Jerome Dillon

More evidence we're none of us getting younger: Nine Inch Nails cut short their San Diego gig on Friday after drummer Jerome Dillon suffered chest pains.

He spent the weekend getting medical attention and was expected to be reporting back to the drum riser yesterday evening.

music rock sick list jerome dillon nine inch nails

JOBS TO MUSIC INDUSTRY: LET'S NOT GET GREEDY

Steve Jobs has issued a public statement aimed at the RIAA cartel who are seeking to try and ramp prices up on iTunes: don't stamp on the golden goose.

Jobs, who has become the biggest music retailer in the world more-or-less by accident, was responding to mutterings on the part of the big labels about charging more for popular songs on the iTunes store:

"If they want to raise the prices, it means that they are getting greedy," said Jobs, chief executive of Apple, at a news conference in Paris on Tuesday.

"If the price goes up, they (consumers) will go back to piracy and everybody loses," he said.

It's going to be a strange experience for record labels, being told "No"; it's not clear if they'll try and force a move through anyway. At present, Apple sell eight out of every ten digital downloads in the US, and if labels want to be able to sell into the lucrative iPod market, they've got two choices - stick with Jobs, or else remove DRM from their songs. It would seem that - for now - Apple have the upper hand.

music apple itunes ipod

GO THE END WITH THE Q

The nominations for the Q awards have been announced, and they want you - yes, you to vote for the winners. Yes...

So, Best New Act:
Hard-Fi
Kaiser Chiefs
Jem
Magic Numbers
MIA
James Blunt

Yes, james blunt has made the shortlist. Somewhat oddly, this category is sponsored by Island which is a bit like having a football team sponsoer the FA Cup.

Best Live Act:
Green Day
U2
Muse
Oasis
Coldplay

Clearly, it's impossible to be a decent live act unless you play to at least squinty-billion people in one go.

Napster - Napster! - sponsors the Best Track:

James Blunt - You're Beautiful
U2 - Vertigo
Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle
KT Tunstall - The Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Coldplay - Fix You

Jesus, they used to accuse Q of being dowdy and middle-aged; could they have not found a cardigan manufacturer to sponsor this bunch? At least with live act you could give a grudging nod to Muse, but... we're going to vote of KT Tunstall. Because that's what we drew from a hat.

Best album:

Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth
Coldplay - x&y
James Blunt - Back To Bedlam
Kaiser Chiefs - Employment
Goldfrapp - Supernature

Blimey... something with a heart still in it... go Ms Goldfrapp...

Best Act in the world today:

Coldplay
Green Day
U2
Oasis
Muse

Here, to be honest, even a grudging vote for Muse seems to be pushing it - is this how they manage to keep getting critical acclaim, by hanging around on shortlists of intolerable berks and seeming the least worst option?

Without a doubt, this is most painful shortlist a magazine poll has ever offered for a guitarry-band type poll. It's more like a balloon debate, without even the saving grace of throwing the losers over the edge of a balloon.

music q green day muse kaiser chiefs u2 oasis

UNDERAGE SEX CHARGES PUTS BAND ON ICE

Following the arrest of their lead singer on charges relating to sex with a fourteen year-old girl, Virgin Mary Suicide have put their activities on hold:

"Val has decided to take an absence from the band to focus on personal matters. We shall be on hiatus for a while, but we shall be back with a full length album ... soon. Thanx for all your support ... See you next year,"

Well... "next year" might be a bit optimistic, depending on how the case goes...

music virgin mary suicide

HOW MUCH CAN I GET FOR MY SOUL?

It might not be that John 'Dilworth' Karaka really wanted to try and make cash off the back of driving so badly that he killed a man, but it's curious that he pulled an interview about the accident just after his agent discovered that the paper wasn't going to pay for it.

As part of his sentence Karaka paid $4000 to the victims' families, and the agent said "times are tough" for the musical icon.

Any media fee would be used to pay the fine, she said.

So... the idea is that you drag the corpse of the guy you killed through the papers, and give the money to the family so the whole careless driving thing doesn't leave you out of pocket, then? Neat.

music herbs

ASDA AND SHARON COME TO A PARTING

Although the contract was supposed to last for a year, WalMart's Asda chain don't seem to be especially upset that Sharon Osbourne has decided to step down from their advertising campaign. Apparently, Sharon's going to be too busy anyway, what with appearing in a big Hollywood film with David Furnish.

Stop laughing at the back, we're sure that it's a real project. Just because there's nothing listed on IMDB, which would suggest that the plans aren't so far advanced that they'd stop Sharon from spending a day in the Colindale branch of Asda pretending to goose old men and spouting about how cheap the coley fillets are there, that doesn't mean that there isn't really a movie. We're sure every studio in Hollywood would want to back a sure-fire hit featuring Elton John's husband-to-be (a man whose most challenging role to date has been "audience member" and whose profile is so low he didn't even get a credit on An Audience With Elton John) and Ozzy Osbourne's wife, who does at least have a couple of acting jobs under her belt - a guest slot on Will and Grace and a brief haunting of a daytime soap. Boise, Idaho must be salivating waiting for this one.

music sharon osbourne asda walmart david furnish elton john