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We've always been a bit shit at keeping an eye on whats on offer over on the BBC Collective site, so we were kind of delighted that Katy Christie gave us an electronic nudge in the ribs to bring their M Ward stuff to our attention: They've got an exclusive video session and tracks. And a lovely picture of his beautiful eyes. A nice way to pass off some of the weekend.
We're sure that when Michael Jackson heard that Britney Spears was offering him advice, he didn't exactly rush to find out what it was - after all, if he followed her patented behaviours, he'd probably have not only been done for touching kids, but desperately trying to annull weddings to them as well, but for what it's worth, here's what Brit had to say:
"If he did do those things, I feel sorry for him. I feel like he probably feels alone, and he needs some help," she tells Allure magazine.
"He needs someone to be like, 'OK, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.'
"And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him. Either way, he needs to get in a fight."
Actually... getting drunk and becoming a man... isn't that exactly what Jacko's accused of trying to get Gavin to do?
Danjo Metcalfe was happily tootling away through a covers set in the lobby of the Clifton Hotel, Scarborough. He got to You'll Never Walk Alone, when a bloke suddenly emerged from the crowd and started to bellow out the words. Danjo picks up the story:
"It was the last spot and I was just starting You'll Never Walk Alone when this guy came up, grabbed the microphone and started singing.
"I let him sing part of the song and then finished it off with him. I had no idea who it was but he sounded a very good singer. I thought he was drunk and had just started singing.
"Then afterwards someone from the audience told me who he was. I was just amazed..."
Turning down the job he may or may not have been considered for on Bono's behalf, Jamie Drummond of Debt, Aids, Trade, Africa says Bono won't lead the world bank:
"I can't believe I need to say this, but there are no circumstances in which Bono would be nominated or accept the World Bank job.”
He added: "Bono is flattered to be mentioned for such an important job but DATA does its best work from the outside."
Well, while we couldn't really imagine Bono being offered the position - good god, the world's not gone that far yet, has it? - there are surely ways in which it could happen: after all, only last weekend US Treasury Secretary John Snow wasn't ruling out considering Mr. Vox, calling Bono "a rock start of the development world." And is DATA really suggesting that if one of their members was approached to be head of the World Bank, they'd really say "oh, no, we'll stick to trying to change the world from outside, instead." If they would, they really ought to stop what they're doing now and go home.
In other Bono news, he and his wife, Ali Hewson, launched their "ethical" clothing line Edun. It has a heart in kind of the right place - no sweatshops, using family run factories in Africa and South America - but there's something about the concept that suggests its more attitude than actual well-thought out ethicism. After all, the launch for the clothing range came at Saks; in the UK, the clothes are going to be sold through Selfridges. If you really wanted to make a difference, you'd be signing your deals with Sainsburys and Tesco, and creating a range that wouldn't rely on a short-term faddish market: an ethical version of George or Cherokee would build a massive, steady market for these family-run factories, and each pair of jeans sold would be worn a lot, making excellent use of the planet's limited resources; flogging them through Saks means you're selling into a market which buys a pair of trousers to wear once, maybe twice. In fact, we're not even sure that making trousers in Africa and shipping them over to the US is the most ethical way of getting trousers to the US consumer, but that's such a complicated question we'll leave that be for now.
But anyway: ethical clothes. So, that would imply a company where all the clothes are made for a fair price, sold for a fair price, right? No profiteering at any stage in the system? Erm... apparently not:
"You can make a healthy profit," says Hewson, "and at the end of the day, people know that the clothes they are wearing have a good story behind them."
So, Ali Hewson is quickly reassuring her and her husband's capitalist chums: there's still "healthy" (i.e. supernormal) profits to be made. And at whose expense would that be? Just because you're not ripping off the consumer or the manufacturers quite so much doesn't make your product ethical.
One further thing: The pair have chosen their brand name because it's nude backwards. Which is kind of clever. We wonder if they bothered to google edun and discover exactly how many nudist groups hit on the same idea?
We wonder during this week's Pop Papers if any was really that bothered by the wibblings of faded 80s icon Boy George. Well, someone is - that other faded 80s icon, Madonna. Maddy's publicist has issued a not-very-convincing statement:
However, the 46-year-old singer has hit back through her publicist, Liz Rosenberg, who says Madonna has always, and will continually, be committed to her homosexual fans and has not cynically duped them. She told American newspaper the New York Post: "There's not enough room in the paper to respond to Boy George's ridiculous accusations much less list Madonna's long-standing passion, love, commitment and devotion to the gay community which has not changed for 20 years."
Rosenberg also defended her employer's mystical faith insisting it was not homophobic, and told George he should stick to writing some better songs. She added: "It doses not discriminate against homosexuals, nor do they work toward changing anyone's sexual preference. I wish Boy George would go back to writing songs."
Well, we can understand Liz wanting George to not shine a light in the darker corners of the cult-version of Kabbalah, but to wish him making more records seems unfair: why punish the rest of us?
It's been interesting this week to watch various postings popping up on internet message boards from people saying they're "not a kabbalist" and linking through to this clear statement:
While Kabbalah and its cardinal text, the Zohar, has little to say about homosexuality, it is a main focus of The Kabbalah Centre and Kabbalah in general to stay away from judging others for any reason, external or internal, physical or metaphysical. Kabbalah also explains that the most sharing act we can achieve on this planet is childbirth, which is unattainable between two members of the same sex alone. However, that is not to say that two same-gendered people cannot have the same or more loving, rewarding, and lasting relationships as heterosexual couples. Kabbalah is all-inclusive rather than exclusive, and I hope you feel comfortable continuing your study.
So, that would seem to be a fairly conclusive statement: hey, we wish you'd have some pretty babies, but nobody minds homosexuality. Right? Erm... only Kabbalah.com, the kabbalah centre's website, seems to have some different viewpoint - during a webchat, Kaballah spokesperson Billy doesn't seem to be embracing the belief that homosexual relationships can be "loving, rewarding and lasting" - indeed, Kabbalah can help you out:
emanation: Do you think that a person born with a lack of sexual desire for the opposite sex should try to become heterosexual?
Billy: If they feel inclined to embrace the spiritual path of Kabbalah and seek deeper answers to life.
LeahLeah: Are you saying homosexuality can be overcome? I don't understand how this position can be manifesting a superior magnitude of Light. This seems judgmental and doing nothing but instilling self-hatred into those who feel their very nature is a "condition." Have you witnessed someone overcoming their gayness via the Kabbalah teachings--as well as a subsequent depression-free life?
Billy: Yes i have. And the kabbalistic view is not about morals, ethics or judgements. On the contrary, everything about our nature is a condition. Our normal bodily desires are not our true selves. Souls are not heterosexual or homosexual. The truth transcends these limited concepts. Each of us come to this world to achieve enlightenement, growth,correction and transformation. According to ancient Kabbalah, homosexuality, like any other aspect of human behavior or desire is included. This is the view of the Kabbalists. You do not have to accept it. And if Kabbalah cannot offer the complete transformation of anyone's life, then who needs Kabbalah.
... which would seem to be the exact opposite to Madonna's publicist's claims that Kabbalah doesn't want to change anyone's sexuality.
Hmmm. Maybe we should try returning to the source material - here's what Rabbi Chaim Vital has to offer in Kabbala Online:
Sometimes a man may reincarnate into the body of a woman because of a sin, such as homosexuality or something similar. This woman who has received the soul of a man will not be able to conceive and become pregnant.
This is, apparently, part of Gate of Reincarnation Cross-Gender Sould Migration, Chapter 9, Section 2. That seems pretty conclusive to us.
One other point: when Madonna was asked about that chap from the Kabbalah Centre caught by the BBC saying that the Jews killed in the Holocaust had brought it on themselves by not being Kabbalic, the official line was that she was too busy rehearsing for the NBC tsunami concert to comment. Surely now she's got enough idle time on her hands to offer comments on Boy George's Times interview, presumably we're about to hear what Madonna actually thought about that?
Although most of the papers have filled their front covers this morning with details of their free CD giveaways, there's no actual music stories apart from this, on the front of the Sun:
So, after Ken and Deirdre and Charles and Camilla, Ron and Penny are going to have a twilight wedding. These things really do come in threes.
So, it turns out that when Lil'Kim told lies in front of a Grand Jury, it was all a bit of a mistake: she'd never do something like that. That would be wrong:
"This was a very serious situation," Lil' Kim testified. "I could not come into a grand jury and purposely tell false statements and lie."
Then it was suggested to her that she owed a million dollars in back taxes. But that was nothing to do with her - she leaves all that sort of stuff to her manager and accountant. Perhaps in the most jaw-dropping moment of her testimony on perjury charge, though, was the attempts to place the following three items on a level of equality:
The shooting by someone she claimed at the time not to know outside a New York Radio station
The day "Biggie was killed"
September 11th, 2001
Kim explains how she could take such an odd viewpoint: "I'm the type of person, I just shut down and move on. I don't live in the past."
Well, I suppose if you genuinely have no ability to remember things that have happened you could confuse a spot of petulant twats shooting each other in meaningless "turf wars" with a major terrorist incident that wiped out the lives of thousands of people. Maybe that could also explain why you forget to ask your manager if he sent off a cheque to the IRS, or if you knew the guy with the gun.
The case continues.
The twists and turns following C-Murder (or Corey Miller, as he will revert to once puberty is over) being found guilty of murder have dealt him a further knockback. He had been offered a new trial after the State ruled that he'd been convicted unfairly when the prosecution had neglected to mention that two of their witnesses had criminal records and cut a deal; now the 5th Circuit court of appeal has said that doesn't matter:
"there was an abundance of other evidence which fully established Miller's guilt."
So, no new trial, then. C-Murder will continue to C-the-inside-of-a-cell. But he's going to appeal again anyway.
Cameron Diaz was rushed... okay, not exactly rushed, but taken to hospital tonight. She'd been clambering over furniture when she fell off and cut her head open. Actually, it sounds a lot less nasty than it must have been - paramedics were worried that she'd broken her back; and she had to have 19 stitches. Luckily, Justin Timberlake was on hand to call the ambulance; although if he'd been around to hold a ladder, she wouldn't have had to be climbing on the chest of drawers in the first place.
There's something terribly wrong about this, but it feels somehow pleasing that Edith Bowman has won Comic Relief Fame Academy. And her version of Sweet Dreams was disturbingly sexy. Congrats, Edith.
Judge Melville has taken some time out of trying to decide if Jackson is a child abuser or not in the legal sense of the term to give his full attention to a more serious issue: Can Jay Leno crack gags about the case while he might be called as a witness? Yes, he can, concludes Melville:
"I am not attempting to prevent anybody from making a living in the normal way that they make their living."
What... Leno gets paid for doing that monologue? Let's hope it's not pay per laugh, otherwise the poor sod'll be starving. It's great, though, that Melville has crystalised an important point of US law: it doesn't matter if you're in contempt of court, providing you're getting paid for it.
Talking of contempt of court, can the official Michael Jackson website coverage of court proceedings really be acceptable? You wouldn't expect balance, but... surely the hugely selective and emotive reporting is slightly contemptuous of the whole process itself?
Back at the courtroom, the defence has tried to get everyone involved to go out to Neverland so they can see for themselves that the boy scout dolls and tigers and wine cellars and whirligigs. Judge Melville rejected the request; although perhaps if the defense offers him a go on the merry-go-round he'll change his mind.
Warners are looking to raise a big pile of cash by flogging off shares - about USD750 million worth. Wouldn't it be cool to get hold of one or two of them, enough to give you the chance to turn up at AGMs and ask about Warner's continued persecution of individuals through its memberships of the BPI and the RIAA?
Warners are looking to raise a big pile of cash by flogging off shares - about USD750 million worth. Wouldn't it be cool to get hold of one or two of them, enough to give you the chance to turn up at AGMs and ask about Warner's continued persecution of individuals through its memberships of the BPI and the RIAA?
The death has been announced of George Scott, one of the founder members of the Blind Boys of Alabama, making him the third of this year's Grammy Winners to die in the month after the ceremony.
Scott was a founder member of the band, which came together at the Alabama Institute for the Negro Blind in 1936 - although he and his friends Clarence Fountain and Jimmy Carter didn't become commercially active until 1939 (Obviously, Scott was waiting until he hit the big 1-0 before deciding if he was going to be serious about this music thing). He played and toured with the band right up until 2003, making him one of the longest-serving active members of any group in musical history. He had been planning to rejoin the band next year for a 70th year of live work, but the illness which had sidelined him last year beat him; he did manage to record some of his trademark baritone for their next album Atom Bomb, released next week in the UK.
Fountain was one of the last people to speak to his colleague: "I spoke to him last night," Fountain said Wednesday, "and he was feeling fine. It just goes to show you never know when you may be talking to someone for the last time, so always be thankful for the people you have in your life. We're grateful to the Lord for letting us have George for as long as we did. He and I grew up together and sang together from little boys to old men. George was a great singer, he could sing any part in a song. We loved him and he was one of the 'Boys.' He lived a life of service and now he's gone on to his reward."
Scott is survived by his wife Ludie Lewis Mann Scott, his mother Hassie Lou Scott, and his sister Benzie Jackson.
According to an ex-girlfriend - who has, of course, no reason to be embittered - Kevin Federline is a bit whiffy. He doesn't wash or brush his teeth. Or so she claims. But who knows? Since he married Britney and lives in a house with that fancy schmancy plumbing now, perhaps he's changed his ways.
Of course, it's easy to make fun of Kevin and Britney, but they really are trendsetters. Oh, yes - apparently, since they got married wearing sweatsuits, people have been desperate to emulate them. The company who made Kevin's velour outfit is enthusiastic about what he's done for their sales, but even they can't resist taking the piss out of him:
Sweatsedo has announced that they have sold every last Pure White suit in stock. Rich Kunkel, co-founder, is amazed: "It's unbelievable. As soon as this guy chose to outfit all his groomsmen in personalized velour sweatsuits, they just started flying off the shelves; we couldn't keep them in stock. Now if he'd only wear his hat on straight, we could hire him as a model."
Coldplay have revealed to a hushed, bestilled world the title of their new album: It's going to be called X&Y. And that will be the most surprising thing about it, we guess. (You can, if you must, preorder it at Amazon ready for delivery on the morning of June 6th.) There's a single coming before that - Speed of Sound on May 23rd. We imagine the speed of their sound will be very, very slow indeed.
Not only is the world stood on its head by Babyshambles cancelling a gig for reasons not related to Pete, he's now decided to turn up and play the gig without the rest of them: he's going to support The Streets single-handed:
"After a lot of consideration I have decided that I don’t want to let the fans down and so will go ahead with the show on my own.”
Doherty not wanting to let people down? Did he go through rehab or a total personality change?
So, having turned up late and wearing pyjamas in a bid to take the focus off the evidence, what did young Gavin have to say that was so potentially damaging? Quite a lot, actually:
Jackson's accuser, now 15, told the jury how the 46-year-old singer had twice masturbated him to ejaculation.
"He asked me if I masturbated and when I said I didn't he said he would do it for me." The two, who had been drinking alcohol, then got under the covers of Jackson's bed, the boy alleged. "That's when he put his hands in my pants and started rubbing me."
On the second occasion that Jackson masturbated him, the boy said, the singer had tried to get him to do the same to him. "He grabbed my hand to get me to do it but I didn't want to," he said.
The defense cross-examination seemed less interested in the wanking; more outraged that Gavin had denied Jackson had helped him when he had cancer. Thomas Mesereau listed all the goodies that Jackson had given to the boy; Gavin replied that he'd felt heartbroken when Jacko suddenly withdrew his affection.
Judge Melville turned back to the late arrival of Jackson at the end of the day, giving him the opportunity to repost bail. The hospital Jackson went to with his Stan Ogden style bad back, meanwhile, issued a statement which didn't actually sound like it was saying "he came here for treatment":
"Michael Jackson was at Santa Ynez Valley hospital in the emergency room. We don't know why he was here. We don't know when he was here. He left at approximately 8.45."
The case continues. Jacko might turn up with a girdle today.
So, Lil'Kim has got to come up with a good reason for her whole having lied during the shooting trial thing. Her brilliant excuse?
The prosecution bullied her into lying.
The case continues, so we'll get to see if anyone buys that.
Yeah, she's always being pushed about, isn't she?
The poor chap who lives in the house that Ozzy Osbourne grew up in is so sick of Black Sabbath pilgrims turning up and scrawling on his door that he's considering selling the thing. Perhaps for charity:
"I need to change it on the wife's orders. But I don't know what to do with it.
"Maybe someone who is a great fan, I could pass it on to them, or I might put it on eBay and auction it and give the money to charity."
The poor chap who lives in the house that Ozzy Osbourne grew up in is so sick of Black Sabbath pilgrims turning up and scrawling on his door that he's considering selling the thing. Perhaps for charity:
"I need to change it on the wife's orders. But I don't know what to do with it.
"Maybe someone who is a great fan, I could pass it on to them, or I might put it on eBay and auction it and give the money to charity."
How many times can Geri Halliwell do the "I'm happy with my bodyshape now" interview - usually before she balloons/voms down to a totally different shape three days later? As long, it seems, as rich pornographer Richard Desmond wants to keep paying her to do so:
Of course, much of the attention is focused on the Jackson trial, with Jacko's stunt back successfully deflecting attention from what was going on inside the courtroom. Even the Guardian finds front page space for the latecoming:
As do all three of the redtops, although the Mirror also squeezes on Robbie Williams transvestite adventures (all for charity, of course):
The Star:
The Sun is so excited by Michael in his nightwear, they don't even find room to mention they're being threatened with prosecution for incitement to racial hatred:
On the other side of the Atlantic, Jackson is also hogging the front pages of some of the covers. USA Today gives the story prime coverage:
... and it also gives the New York Post its lead:
But in Chicago, they're focusing on happier news: the truce between 50 Cent and The Game, which does, of course, threaten to save a large number of record sales ("lives"):
And in Dallas, all the talk is of Mary Kate and Ashley - apparently they're now demonstrating "Ashcan chic" (the international finals of Sweet Things Careering Furthest Off The Rails, with the Olsens v Charlotte Church, will take place this summer) - and the band The Afters, who are part of the Christian acts who try to keep that whole deity-worshipping stuff quiet:
Surely there's no reason Christina Aguilera hasn't made a movie yet, is there? There can't be any shortage of scripts coming her way, and not all of them end in a pop shot, we'd imagine. She says she's waiting for the right part to come up, as it's important she "doesn't play herself in a film." And quite right too, Chris. You keep away from that full-frontal nudity.
You might only have just got over Christmas; we might only have just got over Christmas, but for Usher, his year is over. He's played what he claims - and we can only hope - will be his last show for 2005. Apparently, he's going to spend the next nine months trying to learn how to do buttons so that he can wear shirts like the other boys.
Oddly, Kylie seems to have done a deal with British Airways for them to be the "official airline" of her Greatest Hits tour.
Presumably the only way she could get access to jet-engine powered airbrushing...
Good god, Michael Jackson's falling apart. Apparently. He didn't turn up for the start of court today, with his people claiming he had a bad back and had gone to hospital. Again. Judge Melville insisted Jackson get his ass to court within an hour, or he'd be in breach of bail and heading straight for jail. Any suggestions this is creating a hoopla to deflect press attention from what's likely to be said in court today is pure speculation. Of course.
Good god, Michael Jackson's falling apart. Apparently. He didn't turn up for the start of court today, with his people claiming he had a bad back and had gone to hospital. Again. Judge Melville insisted Jackson get his ass to court within an hour, or he'd be in breach of bail and heading straight for jail. Any suggestions this is creating a hoopla to deflect press attention from what's likely to be said in court today is pure speculation. Of course.
Not because Madonna herself has done any sexual harassment, of course: Madonna has people to do all that for her. Indeed, she's only been named in the suit because she was at the head of the vanity movie unit Maverick Films (no, we didn't know she had one, either). It's there that Yael Oestreich claims CEO Mark Morgan harassed her and then caned her when she wouldn't play ball. Or ballings. Nobody on the other side is answering their phone to the Associated Press at the moment.
Brian May is not a man to turn the other cheek when someone dares to criticise his works, mighty as they are. We heard he had a chap killed for saying that his Ford jingle "Everything we do is driven by you" didn't quite match up to "Zoom-zoom-zoom", but that might have just been hearsay. Anyway, he's not pleased that Elton John has slagged off We Will Rock You. Elton (and everyone in the world, ever) dismissed the not-quite-musical as being uncreative. Brian May hit back, fuming:
"Elton is a silly boy really for commenting on a piece of work he's never seen. I know damn well We Will Rock You is one of the best entertainments ever - simply because literally millions of people say so, who have seen it and go back again and again, from all countries of the world.
"It will soon have broken the record for any show in the Dominion. These things are not achieved without a certain creativity."
May has also taken a snipe at Elton's upcoming musical Billy Elliott saying, "Billy Elliott, the Musical?. I wish 'em luck, but the film didn't do it for me. Does it rock?.
"I guess if Billy Elliott the Musical is still playing to ecstatic packed houses after three years in the West End, we'll take it seriously."
By Brian May's reckoning, then, the greatest play of all time must be the Mousetrap, seeing as its run for decades and decades. We really can't quite see why the fact bunches of tourists shuffle in day after day in their pacamacs to see some people singing the greatest hits of Queen proves creativity - indeed, we'd suggest that it demonstrates the exact opposite, since theatres seldom sell out when they're being at their most risk-taking. And does this mean the Rod Stewart musical wasn't creative, as it closed quickly? Theatreland is a confusing place.
Sure, it's not much of a headline, but what makes their axing of the Friday date supporting the Streets different is the reason: this time Adam Ficek has had a family bereavement.
