Donny Tourette: Doherty re-imagined by the Jim Henson workshop

We'll say this for Donny Tourette - he's either got a very thick skin, or a very thick something. Even he, by now, must have realised that even Jack Woolley can spot he's a bit of a laughing stock rather than a threat to the system, man.

But he keeps trying. Ooh, now he's threatening to tup a Princess:

“I’m mad for her [Beatrice, Andrew Windsor's daughter]. She’s definitely hot. She sort of reminds me of Peaches.”

“All I’d need is two minutes to turn on the Tourette charm and she’d be mine.

“I went to Mahiki this week because I heard Prince Harry was there. I thought he could put a good word in for me.

“It’s not just Beatrice’s looks I’m attracted to — she’s fifth in line for the throne. I could handle that.”

Bless him. He's like Benny From Crossroads with a guitar, isn't he?