There's a splendid, mighty-cringe of a photo in this morning's Sun where Victoria Newton and Westlife pose with pints of Guinness. It's like the worst blind date ever.
The image isn't helped by the awful caption:
Loife and soul? I suppose Westlife should be grateful they got off with just the Guinness cliche and weren't asked to be photographed with a pig under their arms.
Faced with the prospect of Newton pawing at them, Westlife instead make it clear they've got a boyfrie... sorry, express their love for the boss:
“We met up with him in the States a couple of years ago but we couldn’t get near him because he was so busy signing autographs.
“We take the mickey out of him. In his office he has a mirror that says, ‘Yes, Simon, you look terrific’.
“He wasn’t famous when we first met him but he hasn’t changed. How you see him behave on The X Factor is how he has always been.”
Simon Cowell - just for the record - isn't bigger in the US than Brad Pitt, although he is marginally more famous than Craig Revel Horwood. At the moment.
Still, it's nice to hear that fame hasn't changed him - although since before he was famous he was a honking, classless bully maybe it would have been better if it had.
Shane, meanwhile, welcomes back Take That:
“Since their massive comeback I think it’s had a knock-on effect, helping to make pop music popular again. I hope it’s going to inspire record company bosses to sign more pop acts.
“Seven or eight years ago you couldn’t move for pop acts, then guitar bands came in and pop became a dirty word.
“Now you’ve got the SPICE GIRLS back, BOYZONE are reforming and with LEONA LEWIS’ incredible single sales it feels like things could be changing.”
You mean Leona Lewis, who is managed by... oh, Simon Cowell. What a surprise.
It's not clear, though, why record labels would need to go out signing new pop acts when there's so many old ones clambering out their crypts; indeed, if we were Shane we'd be worried that all these decade-old acts cluttering things up pop is starting to look somewhat elderly?