Britney Spears: ?

Oh, God alone knows what's going on with her - The Sun is reporting that she's holed up with a Brummie photographer Adnan Ghalib, and

bizarrely told loved ones the paparazzi are now the only people she trusts.

But, frankly, who knows?

As if the story wasn't already a depressing mental health story recast as pantomime, Spears' parents have sucked Doctor Phil into matters. The comedy witch doctor is apparently viewed with respect despite making Raj Persaud look like Sigmund Freud. Phil has been padding his part in Britney's escape from hospital, although hospital "sources" have denied that he even spoke to her. Let's hope so; the last thing Spears needs right now is to get 'treatment' from a starstruck gossip.