Darkness at 3AM: The glittery, glittery Hollywood whirl

The cash-strapped Mirror has dispatched the 3AM Girls to the Oscars - money well spent, to, erm, produce coverage that misses the paper's deadline and hasn't appeared on the website yet.

Indeed, the 3AM column is forced to focus on the Oscars pre-parties and Britney Spears not going to any of them. Good work, everyone.