Gordon in the morning: Liam Gallagher's big hitch

Aah, sloppy old romantic pub-fighting Liam Gallagher marked Valentines Day by marrying Nicole Appleton, and Gordon Smart was there, or at least heard about it.

Ah, but what headline would you slap on such a story?

Oasis Liam's wed for it again

Sorry... what? He's got married for what? "It"? Sex? Was he saving himself until Nicole had a ring on his finger?

Accepting the headline doesn't actually make any sense, Smart crowbars in a reference to explain it:

“Mad for it” Liam...

Oh. Mad for it. Wed for it. Yes. Now we see.

Still, you can't blame Gordon, he's been busy, with a photo of the top of Jordan's nipple to somehow turn into news.

His colleagues turn their attention to Cheryl Cole. Again. You'll recall yesterday a picture of Cheryl in a bikini showed that she was stick-thin, dangerously underweight and at death's door. Twenty-four hours later, in (admittedly) a different bikini, she's looking

"well tanned, was joking – and appeared to be showing Chelsea ace Ashley, 27, just what he is missing."

Presumably she's had some sort of reverse liposuction.