Darkness at 3AM: Gayle blows on

The nation owes a huge apology to Michelle Gayle who was charm itself at the Eurovision heats, and somehow lost out to a right old clunker. The 3AM Girls aren't ones for compassion, though, laying into Gayle's plans for a best of:

A pal said: "She thinks everyone will go crazy for her album." Hmm, greatest hits? We can't remember any of her hits!

They might have a point about the over-optimistic hopes, but it's still a little unfair. What about Sweetness? And... um... all the others.

Elsewhere, a romance is barked up between Natalie Imbruglia and Sam Branson, who is described as a "model" because "being Richard Branson's son" is a difficult career category to capture on census data:

They were seen snogging at the Kensington Roof Gardens, venue for his exclusive £100,000 ski-themed bash to celebrate him leaving on an Arctic expedition. A reveller told us: "They are pretty besotted with each other and Nat is even talking about meeting him in the Arctic."

You throw a hundred grand party to celebrate going on holiday. Modelling must pay really well.

We love the idea that Nat is supposedly going to pop up and see him in the Arctic - presumably she's busily checking the EasyJet schedules right now to see if she can get a cheap flight there.