Ladytron: I'm telling that Danny Hunt it'll never last

Never mind that it's 20 years since the Guardian launched Notes & Queries - can you believe that it's ten years since Ladytron first coalesced in what was (then) a Liverpool back street and is now probably the fridge aisle in the big new John Lewis?

They're celebrating with an album collecting the best bits from the first decade. It's going to be a greatest hits collection, which suggests a reliance on natural justice rather than strict facts.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet: Bob Stanley

Pitchfork spend some quality time with Bob Stanley:

Pitchfork: You have a new compilation, London Conversations. You've released quite a few comps-- Too Young to Die, Smash the System, Travel Edition, plus rarities and fan-club releases: Why another one and why now?

BS: Um, yeah, it's slightly embarrassing. For some reason we didn't think anybody would notice there's been about four before [laughs]. We've only done one officially before, which was Too Young to Die. There's been various in between because we've changed labels so many times. The reason we're doing it now is because we wanted to redo the whole catalog with a bonus disc for each album. And this is just a taster for that, I suppose. It makes sense to do one ahead of all the individual albums coming out. It just seems like a suitable time.

Springsteen: Superstore On The Edge Of Town

Karl T emails with news of Bruce Springsteen's plans for his Greatest Hits album:

It's a while since I've listened to any of his stuff, but I'm sure that Bruce Springstein has written at least two albums of dirges about big business muscling mom-and-pop operations out of business, and the death of small town America that follows. It's heartening, therefore to hear that he's taken a stand and is refusing to allow his greatest hits package to be released through Wal Mart.

Oh, wait. Hang on, that should read 'his greatest hits package is only going to be available through Wal Mart'. The fucker.

And that girl he pulled out of the crowd during the Dancing in the Dark video? Total set-up.

Having heard his Santa Claus Is Coming To Town once too often during the festive season - which, actually, could be just once - being condemned to WalMart might just be too good for the man.

Ladytron in a bottle

There we were, mid-scoff at the idea that Christina Aguilera was looking forward on her new record when we spotted this:

[T]he singer is planning a new album she describes as “futuristic,” with collaborations with the forward-looking Sia, Goldfrapp and Ladytron.

Ladytron? Working with Aguilera? One or other of them is going to walk away from that with a totally re-graded reputation.

Meanwhile, though, Aguilera is pulling together a Greatest Hits collection. And struggling to explain why calling herself a bitch is, you know, somehow a feminist statement:

“I’m running a business,” she says, “and sometimes being the boss of your own empire and creation, you have to be assertive. Being a female, that comes with being labeled a ‘bitch’ and given titles that men wouldn’t receive. But if that’s what I’m going to be called by being assertive and knowing who I am and what I want out of life, so be it. I wear that label proudly.”

And so it's some sort of positive thing to call yourself and not merely pandering to a male market who sees the very idea of a woman being successful as somehow unnatural. Or, indeed, making people think that it's okay to call someone a bitch.

Still, it's nice to see Aguilera admit that she's effectively running a small business rather than pretending she's an artist in any way.

Duff: too hot for... who, exactly?

Remember Hilary Duff's music career? No, that's what the record label was afraid your response would be. How amazingly convenient then that unspecified 'officials' decided that the video for Reach Out was "too raunchy" and had to be recut.

How terrible, that a yawn-so-provocative video with barely-restraining bondage light, some people in underwear, and a finger-licking scene should need to be toned down just as the track is being released to push next week's Greatest Hits album. How simply terrible to have all this fuss.

We'll save you the effort - and shame of having the Google search recorded. This is the 'official' version:



Unfortunately, all the effort seems to have gone on the pants purchasing and not on producing a decent song.

[Thanks to Michael M for the tip]

Gordon in the morning: Vote Say Say Say

For some reason, rather than just putting on the ones that sold the best, Michael Jackson's people are orchestrating some sort of global voting process to decide the tracks that will go on the latest Jackson best of. And for the UK version, they've chosen the nation's most sophisticated electorate: Gordon Smart's readers.

Gordon, of course, is thrilled at this important job he's been given to do by the important people who know Michael Jackson. He's on his best behaviour:

MICHAEL JACKSON has been called a lot of things in recent years.

But one name he has been given that is beyond dispute is the King Of Pop... and probably Wacko Jacko.

Controversy has blighted his career but he has, without doubt, produced some of best pop tracks ever recorded.

Ahem. Actually, Quincy Jones produced them, but never mind. Wouldn't you say that Wacko Jacko is probably in less dispute than King of Pop? Isn't Madonna, say, far better positioned to claim the title of Pop Monarch?

Anyway, Gordon's dutifully listed fifty Michael Jackson songs, and explains what's going to happen:

The idea to let his fans choose the tracklisting came from Jacko himself.

Countries around the world will all have a separate vote to choose their favourites — resulting in each nation having their own unique “best of” CD.

I can already picture Jacko’s mad fans touring the world to snap up all the different version of the album.

Yes, that's right, Gordon. They'll be packing suitcases right now. (Could someone in The Sun office show him eBay and explain the concept of import records to him during the day?)

And yes, he does manage to come up with fifty tracks, even although everyone knows that this process is effectively "if you could add a couple of tracks to Thriller, what would they be?"

Oddly, there's no sign of What More Can I Give, Jacko's 9/11 benefit song, nor, indeed, of his much-trumpeted Katrina benefit which, you know, we can't quite recall the name of now.

There is, however, one potential for a rarity (besides the late-period stuff that nobody liked), as Gordon excitedly announces:

One of the songs in the poll, Say Say Say — recorded with THE BEATLES’ legend PAUL McCARTNEY — has never been on a Jackson album before.

Yes - that Paul McCartney. The one out the Beatles. Not just any old Paul McCartney.

There's a good version why Say Say Say hasn't ever appeared on a Jackson album, we'd suggest - and can we just stress how childish it would be to go to the voting form just to vote for that song. That would be childish.

Madonna: The past is past, and cannot be revisited. Except for a price.

We're sure she was almost half joking when Madonna ruled out playing her decent songs unless there was a big cheque in the offing:

"I'm not sure I can sing Holiday or Like A Virgin ever again.

"I just can't - unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. (Like if) some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old."

Half joking. But she's set up a PayPal account, just in case.

Darkness at 3AM: Gayle blows on

The nation owes a huge apology to Michelle Gayle who was charm itself at the Eurovision heats, and somehow lost out to a right old clunker. The 3AM Girls aren't ones for compassion, though, laying into Gayle's plans for a best of:

A pal said: "She thinks everyone will go crazy for her album." Hmm, greatest hits? We can't remember any of her hits!

They might have a point about the over-optimistic hopes, but it's still a little unfair. What about Sweetness? And... um... all the others.

Elsewhere, a romance is barked up between Natalie Imbruglia and Sam Branson, who is described as a "model" because "being Richard Branson's son" is a difficult career category to capture on census data:

They were seen snogging at the Kensington Roof Gardens, venue for his exclusive £100,000 ski-themed bash to celebrate him leaving on an Arctic expedition. A reveller told us: "They are pretty besotted with each other and Nat is even talking about meeting him in the Arctic."

You throw a hundred grand party to celebrate going on holiday. Modelling must pay really well.

We love the idea that Nat is supposedly going to pop up and see him in the Arctic - presumably she's busily checking the EasyJet schedules right now to see if she can get a cheap flight there.

There are some bad people on the right

David Cameron has loomed into view at the Salford Lad's Club, to remind people how much he likes Morrissey. It's unclear if we should read this as an endorsement of Mozzer's views on the need to protect a fictional English way of life.

Hazel Blears issued a bizarre statement:

Ms Blears, who is also communities secretary, said: "People in Salford remember when the Tories were in power... I'm surprised he wants to visit a shrine so reminiscent of the 1980s - the dog days of Thatcherism."

We're not quite sure what Blears means by this - is Salford a shrine to Thatcherism? Is the Salford Lads Club "reminiscent of the 1980s"?

Cameron then went on to Amir Khan's gym in Bolton:

Some people might argue that teaching boxing doesn't make young people less violent, and that boxing is dangerous. They're wrong on both counts."

Apart, you know, from the dangerous bit. People who support the idea of boxing as a sport point out the death rate amongst participants in boxing is far lower than that of hang-gliders, footballers and jockeys pursuing their sports, but it's possible to ne seriously injured without being killed. And, as most medical investigations into boxing reports back, being punched in the head a lot isn't entirely good for the brain.

Still, Cameron is keen for people to be more like Khan:

"Better in a boxing ring, than hanging around on the streets. Better looking up to Amir than some drug dealer on the street."

Given that Amir Khan was sentenced earlier in the week for driving at speeds police claimed were nudging 140 miles an hour, you might wonder if he's such a great role model.

In related news, Morrissey has announced his latest best-of tracklisting; the live album version includes National Front Disco - which looks a little defiant. We wounder if Callmedave is plotting a photo op down there, too?

[Thanks to Oliver K for the tip]

The All-New Matchbox Twenty

Apparently, Rob Thomas is touting Matchbox 20 as all-new. Like the way The Flintstones and Scooby Doo did when they, erm, stopped being any good.

Although at least The Flintstones and Scooby Doo had done some being any good to stop being.

So, how are Matchbox 20 kicking off this 20 2.0 era?

Erm... a Greatest Hits album.

Look, Fred, we're all new.

Jamelia's troubles

Why is Jamelia sharing with the Sunday People the news that she might be getting back together with that fading football bloke? It couldn't be a bid to try and boost interest in next week's 'best-of' album, could it?

Jamelia: strong woman, strong hair

Brave, brave Jamelia has opened her heart to Victoria Newton about how she's not letting the split with Darren Byfield. She only split last week from the - shall we call him footballer, although he's a footballer in the way members of One True Voice are pop stars?

But after seven days, she's ready to share her pain with Newton. Where does she find the strength to carry on?

And with a greatest hits album on the way and a new range of haircare products to promote, Jamelia doesn’t have much time for wallowing in self-pity.

She said: “I’m getting on with work as I’ve got two really big projects to focus on — my new haircare range, Model.Me, and, of course, my greatest hits album, which are both out next month.”

How fortunate that the headline-hugging split from Barry Diefield should chime so perfectly with the promotional work for hair gunk and what is - effectively - Superstar's re-release. Why, you couldn't have timed that better if you planned it or something.

Jamelia throws it in 3AM's faces

Despite 3AM having covered every move Jamelia has made for the last couple of years like she was Britain's Britney, Jamelia has only gone and given the launch interview for the Greatest Hits collection to The Sun.

Where's the gratitude, eh, where's the... hang on: Greatest Hits? Has she really got enough tracks for a Greatest Hits?

“It seems the right time to put out a Greatest Hits and have all the best tracks I’ve recorded from the past ten years on one album.”

So, that'd be Superstar and... well, there was probably a remix of Superstar.

Everyone drifts to the right as they get older

Even so, it's still a bit of a surprise to see The Sun and the Levellers coming together to push the new best of album. The Sun is streaming the album in full.

Shirley Manson as Leanne Battersby

With a best of collection due from Garbage in July (Absolute Garbage, in fact), there's the now-requisite new tracks to top the album off. The single is going to be Tell Me Where It Hurts which, musically, sees Shirley Manson return to her Chrissie Hynde tribute routine. The video, though, is a homage to Belle De Jour. The movie, not the blog:

Togther, apart

It was planned before his death, but there's something almost heartbreakingly apt at Grant Mclennan sharing his solo best-of album with solo stuff from fellow Go-Betweener Robert Forster.

Intermission is due June 18th.

Back along the Crystal Crescent

If the Primals are doing a Greatest Hits in 2003, it bloody better have Velocity Girl on it. That's all we can say.