Showing posts with label jamelia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jamelia. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Gordon in the morning: You couldn't Jameliake it up

Here's news of a surprising comeback from Gordon Smart:

JAMELIA has been off the scene for a few years but now 50 CENT wants to sign her to his G-Unit label.

Really? That sounds a bit unlikely.
The New York rapper turned music mogul met the Brummie singer while in London last October for the premiere of his thriller flick Dead Man Running.

This, then, seems less like an announcement of a comeback, more like something that would have run in TheLondonPaper back before Murdoch couldn't afford to run it any more:
You: ridiculous baseball cap and too much jewelery. Me: Cheap dress and desperate look. I shouted at you over the barrier that I made music too; you nodded with a slightly glassy-eyed look. Let's meet soon to discuss my new album!
Coming tomorrow: Sinitta signs with Jay-Z.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Jamelia leaves that great page blank

Terrible news, broken gently by Showbizzy Zoe's Zoe Showbiz column: Jamelia has axed plans for her autobiography. She's even paid back the advance she'd been paid.

She didn't want to share, she says:

"I didn't like giving away all my secrets. It made me feel dirty."

Also, they only filled the first seven and a half pages, leaving a yawning gap still to fill.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Darkness at 3AM: 3amelia returns

The change in management at the 3AM Girls hasn't, it seems, shaken the column's obsession with Jamelia, who has sidled to them to share her opinion of Heather Mills. Dutifully, the report it:

"There's no way she deserves any money Paul earned before he met her.

I'm all for pre-nups. I am going to ask my fiance Darren to sign one, but he doesn't know yet."

Why, it's almost as if you're not expecting the marriage to last, Jamelia. We're just a little lost as to what, exactly, a prenup between those two is going to protect? Earnings from Closer magazine photoshoots?

This historic pronouncement occured at the Elle Style Awards, where our brave journos wondered why Keira Knightley might not have been ecstatic at winning a prize:
Snubbed at the Golden Globes, Baftas and Oscars, it really hasn't been Keira Knightley's year.

But there was some good news for her last night as the skinny star finally scooped a gong.

Not that she seemed really up for it, mind you.

Named Best Actress at the Elle Style awards, the pouting beauty could barely be bothered to smile for the waiting paps.

Like at the Baftas where she shocked fashionistas by rocking up in a dowdy coat, she was at it again here.

Other guests went glam for the West London bash but Keira, 22, opted for ANOTHER frumpy coat.

Good lord. Not wearing a pointlessly expensive dress and choosing a coat to go out in the British Winter? Somehow not seeing a prize from an awards ceremony that - with a straight face - called Kelly Osbourne the best woman on TV as making up for not even getting an Oscar nomination? Whoever would have thought?

For the record, the winners of the Elle Style Awards in full:
Best Actress Kiera Knightly

Best Actor James McAvoy

Best Music Act Kate Nash

Best Music Band The Feeling

Best Male TV Nicholas Holt [we presume the Mirror means Nicholas Hoult]

Best Female TV Kelly Osbourne

Elle Style Icon Kate Hudson

Best Model Agyness Deane

Woman of the Year Kylie Minogue

British Designer Jonathan Saunders

International Designer Luella Bartley

Outstanding Achievement Anya Hindmarch

Monday, September 24, 2007

Jamelia doesn't much like Leona Lewis

Jamelia has apparently decided that the best way to have a go at her former paramour Simon Cowell is by ripping Leona Lewis to shreds:

“When Simon stops all this stupid hype about her, that’s when we’ll see if she can deliver.

“Like every artist Simon has, she’ll fade into obscurity eventually.

“Only WILL YOUNG has been successful, and that was because he’s talented and cut ties with Simon. Leona is a poor man’s Mariah Carey.

“Simon’s lost it. He is disrespectful. Leona may be talented, but she’s not worked as hard as me or others in the industry — fact!”

Poor man's Mariah Carey. That would really hurt, assuming of course you're bothered about being attacked by the 21st Century's Michelle Gayle.

We're also touched by the "I work harder than her" thing - as if people, when deciding which disappointing album to buy in Asda will base their decision on the degree of sweat which was poured into the record's creation.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Jamelia's troubles

Why is Jamelia sharing with the Sunday People the news that she might be getting back together with that fading football bloke? It couldn't be a bid to try and boost interest in next week's 'best-of' album, could it?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Jamelia: strong woman, strong hair

Brave, brave Jamelia has opened her heart to Victoria Newton about how she's not letting the split with Darren Byfield. She only split last week from the - shall we call him footballer, although he's a footballer in the way members of One True Voice are pop stars?

But after seven days, she's ready to share her pain with Newton. Where does she find the strength to carry on?

And with a greatest hits album on the way and a new range of haircare products to promote, Jamelia doesn’t have much time for wallowing in self-pity.

She said: “I’m getting on with work as I’ve got two really big projects to focus on — my new haircare range, Model.Me, and, of course, my greatest hits album, which are both out next month.”

How fortunate that the headline-hugging split from Barry Diefield should chime so perfectly with the promotional work for hair gunk and what is - effectively - Superstar's re-release. Why, you couldn't have timed that better if you planned it or something.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Jamelia throws it in 3AM's faces

Despite 3AM having covered every move Jamelia has made for the last couple of years like she was Britain's Britney, Jamelia has only gone and given the launch interview for the Greatest Hits collection to The Sun.

Where's the gratitude, eh, where's the... hang on: Greatest Hits? Has she really got enough tracks for a Greatest Hits?

“It seems the right time to put out a Greatest Hits and have all the best tracks I’ve recorded from the past ten years on one album.”

So, that'd be Superstar and... well, there was probably a remix of Superstar.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


The curious hold that Jamelia has over the 3AM Girls continues, apparently, as this morning, apropos of nothing, they report with a straight face her latest explanation for her invisible career. It's not that she's down the dumper, she's just a loving parent:

"I have two children, I'm not going out to work every day leaving them at home and being unhappy with it.

"I'd rather go with a label that isn't willing to make me do that and I have been approached by many of them already."

But surely if a label was that energerised by your future prospects, surely sorting out childcare would be simple? After all, labels are skilled at working around drug addictions, strange sexual appetites and visa difficulties - coming up with a way to let you take your kids with you when you have to play a shopping mall.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Jamelia drives away

Oddly, considering the way the 3AM Girls usually report everything that Jamelia does within seconds of it happening, they seem to have somehow missed the story about her driving off without paying a GBP20 parking fee.

The official line is that she'd "forgotten her purse" and so swerved round the car in front of her at the barrier, with every intention of coming back later to pay:

Her spokesman said: “She intended to return and pay. A row did occur. The fee has been paid.”

The odd thing though - even odder than "how come she didn't realise she had 'forgotten her purse' until the very moment she arrived at barrier, as if she'd run up a big parking fee surely she must have been doing something in that time which would have required a rummage in her handbag? - is: if she fully intended to return and pay, why did she not merely say to the bloke in the booth 'I am Jamelia, who had a minor hit or two a while back, I have suddenly realised I have forgotten my purse, I will go and get money' rather than swerving round the car in front and trying to flee without a word? Obviously, her spokesperson is a n honourable man and would never tell a fib, but surely even he must see that her behaviour, however pure her intentions, was 'driving away from a car park without paying'?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

3amelia: Robert DeNiro's rating

The 3AM Girls continue to detail Jamelia's every doing, as if she was still famous. Today: That Robert DeNiro chatted me up, he did.

Monday, April 02, 2007


Maybe she's holding their grandmas hostage or something? Whatever, 3AM still report every thought that flits through Jamelia's head as if either the thoughts, or Jamelia, are interesting:

SUPERSTAR singer Jamelia wants to follow in Madonna's footsteps - and write children's books.

Although they're likely to be short stories, as the 25-year-old says: "I've got such a short concentration span."

Mind you, it was quite shrewd of her to have recorded a song called "Superstar" rather than, say, "Almost forgotten" - otherwise it would have been "ALMOST FORGOTTEN singer Jamelia..."

Friday, March 23, 2007


The Mirror's gossip-hole continues its bemusing habit of reporting everything Jamelia does or says as if she was famous. Today, she's decided she's an actor:

"I would love to be the next Bond girl. I've looked at three scripts and I really liked one. I'm going to Hollywood in May."

By running those three sentences together, you could almost get the impression that Jamelia is off to Hollywood to pick a role in a Bond movie. But since they're shot in England, and there's no script for the next movie yet, it's clear she's trying to combine a desire for a decent role with looking parts in more lowly productions. Which may or may not be American.

We suspect the roles she's considering are more "Churchill, could you save me money on my home insurance" than "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."

Monday, March 19, 2007

Jamelia batting for Britney

She once had a promising career and was adored for her cute pop stance. Then everything started to go wrong when she took a partner who was the subject of rumours about his philandering. No wonder Jamelia knows how Britney Spears feels:

“As a mum I know all about the pressures of juggling a music career with raising your kids.

“Britney’s obviously having a tough time and I hope she pulls it all together.

“I’m sure she can come back stronger than ever.”

Well... she knows all about the kids part. We're not sure about the career-juggling.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Jamelia the honest broker

Why do the 3AM Girls report every doing of Jamelia as if there was a public yearning to know what she's up to? Does she have shares in Trinity Mirror or something?

This morning, it's a lame story with little more to it than to try and remind people that a "mysterious Russian billionaire" wants her to do a gig:

JAMELIA is trying to get a Russian billionaire to invest in footballer boy friend Darren By field's club. The singer - who is set to per form for the dairy tycoon's daughter in Moscow - tells us: "He could even rename it Milkwall, so it would work all round." Looks like she's got all the angles covered!

Milkwall? What?

Of course, since John G Berylson has only just invested millions in the club and taken on the non-executive chairman role, it's a little unlikely. Maybe Jamelia didn't notice that happening, though - or maybe she won't believe it until Berylson renames the club Millfrisco or something.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Jamelia: Someone still loves you - Boris Yeltsin, perhaps?

Good news for Jamelia: a mysterious Russian is digging deep to play a gig for them. It was the "sort of money" Jamelia couldn't turn down, apparently - which puts her fee at anything above fifty quid. We're sure she's not going to bother sullying the deal by asking where the guy's cash comes from or anything.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Fur enough

PETA's campaign to persuade people to not wear anything that's been made by ripping the outer flesh off animals has signed up another famous person (well, alright, Jamelia) to rip off her clothes and be photographed.

We're not sure it's such a good idea. Apart from the feeling that PETA have totally run out of ideas - how many naked people have done versions of this ad now? - it might be a little self-defeating. After all, since it's clear that, as long as people wear fur , PETA will persuade pretty young pop stars, models and actors to do nude photoshoots, isn't that going to make people who like to see Jamelia and others with their pants off actively go out and buy rabbit coats?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Jamelia: ...or maybe an astronaut or an engine driver

Fancy that - having failed to sell many records, Jamelia has decided it's time for a career change:

“I’d love to do acting but I’m not sure if I’d like to play the part of a singer."

Probably wise - don't want to stretch yourself too far on your first outing, eh?

Monday, February 05, 2007

They're like animals

The Sun is reporting this morning that Heather Mills is no longer talking for the animals:

HEATHER Mills has been dropped as the face of animal charity PETA.

The group has replaced Mucca with Sir Paul McCartney’s photographer daughter Mary, 37.

She joined after being assured Heather, 39, was not involved. Now Mary’s pictures of singer Jamelia will be used by PETA.

Which is all fascinating, especially since PETA uses a large number of famous people to front its campaigns - it's not like Mills was their equivalent of Kate Moss. So even if Mary McCartney had asked about Heather - something we, frankly, doubt - the response would have been a shrug.