Thursday, February 14, 2008

Darkness at 3AM: 3amelia returns

The change in management at the 3AM Girls hasn't, it seems, shaken the column's obsession with Jamelia, who has sidled to them to share her opinion of Heather Mills. Dutifully, the report it:

"There's no way she deserves any money Paul earned before he met her.

I'm all for pre-nups. I am going to ask my fiance Darren to sign one, but he doesn't know yet."

Why, it's almost as if you're not expecting the marriage to last, Jamelia. We're just a little lost as to what, exactly, a prenup between those two is going to protect? Earnings from Closer magazine photoshoots?

This historic pronouncement occured at the Elle Style Awards, where our brave journos wondered why Keira Knightley might not have been ecstatic at winning a prize:
Snubbed at the Golden Globes, Baftas and Oscars, it really hasn't been Keira Knightley's year.

But there was some good news for her last night as the skinny star finally scooped a gong.

Not that she seemed really up for it, mind you.

Named Best Actress at the Elle Style awards, the pouting beauty could barely be bothered to smile for the waiting paps.

Like at the Baftas where she shocked fashionistas by rocking up in a dowdy coat, she was at it again here.

Other guests went glam for the West London bash but Keira, 22, opted for ANOTHER frumpy coat.

Good lord. Not wearing a pointlessly expensive dress and choosing a coat to go out in the British Winter? Somehow not seeing a prize from an awards ceremony that - with a straight face - called Kelly Osbourne the best woman on TV as making up for not even getting an Oscar nomination? Whoever would have thought?

For the record, the winners of the Elle Style Awards in full:
Best Actress Kiera Knightly

Best Actor James McAvoy

Best Music Act Kate Nash

Best Music Band The Feeling

Best Male TV Nicholas Holt [we presume the Mirror means Nicholas Hoult]

Best Female TV Kelly Osbourne

Elle Style Icon Kate Hudson

Best Model Agyness Deane

Woman of the Year Kylie Minogue

British Designer Jonathan Saunders

International Designer Luella Bartley

Outstanding Achievement Anya Hindmarch


Simon said...

The Feeling, of course, omnipresent workaholics throughout 2007.

duckie said...

I like the idea of having a Best Model, as if you can tell how much better someone posed and had their hair and makeup arranged BY SOMEONE ELSE. Or perhaps it's an award for eating the least pies?

Kelly Osbourne though? Is there no beginning to her talents?

James said...

@Duckie* - I'm not sure how they work out 'Best Model' either. However, after sitting through several episodes of 'America's Next Top Model', I think 'Best Model' is roughly equivalent to 'Model Who Attracts the Least Amount of Playground Bullying Dressed Up as Advice From Tyra Banks, Twiggy and That Weird Man Who Likes To Be Called 'Miss' Despite Being More Butch Than The Average Welder'

* Does anyone know where this internet custom came from, of replying to someone's comments by starting with '@theirname'? It seems a little confrontational, as if I'm talking at you rather than to you..

Christopher said...

Nobody else has made the obvious "Best Female TV" joke then? Well if everyone else thinks they're above it, then I guess I am too...

simon h b said...

It's developed from Twitter, I believe, where it makes it easier to follow tweets directed in response to other users. That's what the teenagers told me before I switched on the mosquito high-pitched noise machine, anyway.

sven945 said...

@simon h b - I don't think that's true, because I think I've seen it being used for years. But that could certainly be how it's been made more popular.

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