Darknesss at 3AM: Try not to close your eyes and picture it

No, seriously: don't close your eyes and picture Mariah Carey:

"I rather fancy Prince Charles. He is suave, educated and is a great role model."

Yes, a great role model. Somehow, he managed to drag himself up from nothing to be what he is today, a man hanging around waiting for his mother to die before he gets a job; shunning the woman he loved to marry for status only to dump the mother of his children after playing around behind her back for the entire length of their marriage. Brilliant role model. If he'd ever punched a guy in the head round the back of a pool hall, he'd be perfect.

The 3AM Girls reveal that Mariah does have a back-up plan if Prince Charles proves to be unavailable, though:

She also admitted liking Pop Idol star Darius Danesh

Blimey. Talk about shopping at both ends of the counter.

The 3AMies also have, erm, that Noel Gallagher on hip-hop story that was all over everywhere else 24 hours ago. Perhaps they see themselves as some sort of newspaper gossip column of record?