Coldplay: It was all our own work

Oh, dear: Coldplay are mildly annoyed at the allegations that they might have ripped off Joe Satriani:

With the greatest possible respect to Joe Satriani, we have now unfortunately found it necessary to respond publicly to his allegations. If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him. Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write or have any influence on the song Viva La Vida. We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavours. Coldplay.

"We wish him well with all future endeavours"? He isn't one of your gardeners who you're letting go because of the turndown, Martin. Still, we're sure this tersely-worded "it was all a strange coincidence" will satisfy Joe, who will withdraw his legal action and go about his business as before without a worry.

Well, it might work.