Gordon in the morning: Winehouse of pain

Credited solely to "an insider", Gordon gets all scoopy with claims that Island have knocked back Amy Winehouse's new record faster than Amy can knock back a bottle of vodka:

“She seems to have ditched her trademark vintage soul sound and is now heavily influenced by reggae. Her bosses don’t think it’s a wise move to change her style so sharply and have told her that.”

Perhaps this is true. But what's completely lacking from the article is the vital detail of whether the new stuff is simply a sudden and sharp change of musical style, or if it's not any good, either. In other words: is Island panicking at being presented with something creative and challenging, or holding something that doesn't actually work.

The source added: “It’s crucial Amy’s return is handled properly.

“If she puts out a record that is in any way half-baked, that could severely damage her long-term prospects, so everyone’s focus at the minute is getting it right, even if that means telling Amy some things she probably won’t want to hear.”

But if Amy is the sort of talent Island has spent the last half-decade telling us she is, shouldn't they trust her a bit?

You might have seen Pete Doherty's TV complaint about how the media has created an 'evil twin' version of him:

"I call him my evil twin, this fella they've [the media] created. He looks a little bit like me, apart from he's filthy and he's always pulling a weird expression, or doing something violent or illegal."

How frustrating that must be. Mind you, the evil twin does work with the press, doesn't he? Yesterday, you could hear Gordon punching the air as he read Pete's Q interview and found a lovely, lovely big quote:

He moans in an interview in the new issue of Q magazine: “I wanted to see LILY ALLEN play the other week.

“But her label EMI got in touch and said, ‘We don’t want you there because Kate Moss will be there and it will take attention away from Lily. Can you not go?’

“I was so insulted.

“I don’t know. I think I would have been courteous enough.

“Then I’d probably have head-butted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off.”

Nice to see, by the way, that EMI has so much faith in Lily Allen's ability to hold people's attention that they ask people not to go to her gigs.

Gordon then takes Lewis Hamilton to task for buying 'cheapo' sexy underwear:

YOU would think FI flyer LEWIS HAMILTON could afford to buy his raunchy missus some top-dollar undercrackers.

But when he took PUSSYCAT DOLLS singer NICOLE SCHERZINGER out to buy lingerie, strangely he kept a brake on the spending.

On the back ledge of their car was a bag from keenly-priced frillies store La Senza.

Strange. I wonder where Lewis might have got the idea that La Senza was a sexy, sexy place to buy knickers from, then?

Perhaps it was Gordon Smart's drooling write-up of photos of Danielle Bux in La Senza pants.

Or the time Gordon Smart dribbled over another Danielle Bux in La Senza knickers shoot.

Hang about - maybe it was the time Gordon's column ran a piece by Stuart Pink that got all excited by yet another set of adverts featuring Danielle Bux promoting La Senza.

Oddly, on all those occasions, Gordon forgot to mention that he thought La Senza was a bit cheap and nasty.

Perhaps, though, it might help if Gordon read his own column. Gordon Smart's Bizarre USA features a fascinating video:

While Lewis was enjoying his new title, it was back to the day job for his PUSSYCAT DOLL missus NICOLE SCHERZINGER - after a quick message of love and congratulation which you can see by clicking below or right:

Nicole joined her band-mates to model their La Senza lingerie range, called Shhh.

So, the store is good enough to sell pants in, but not buy pants in, then, Gordon?

Or... and this may be uncharitable... but you don't think the carefully-placed and folded La Senza bag was simply an advertising ploy, do you?